Memorable Marks with “Little Dave” Parker

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 by Little Dave Parker

Posted in Archived Columns, On the Road with Stretch Fuck'n Jeans |

Mon-Tues:

Slow days at work.  The highlight of which was when I tried a stick of black chewing gum that I got from my old roommate’s heroin dealer.  Totally lame, it just tasted like strawberries, not heroin.  I hate getting ripped off.  I just don’t trust drug dealers like I used to.

Then I tattooed my new friend Tim.  Tim had a full japanese body suit tattooed on him for years, but decided he didn’t like it anymore and underwent an experimental acid removal process.  He said it was painful and a little messy but cheaper and faster than laser removal.

Now that his skin has healed from the acid burn, he’s ready to start getting tattooed again.  We’re starting with a Japanese Koi Fish.  His sister and girlfriend came with him because they heard his tattoo artist was rich, good looking and brilliant.  Whatever, I’ve been fed the same line since the time Belinda Carlisle and I were necking in the back seat of her ’86 TransAm…these chicks need some new material.

Wednesday:

I had a high-end dinner party to attend later that nite (for those of you who don’t live in Hollywood, high-end dinner parties are just something we have to deal with from time to time), so I decided to run to the Lip Service headquarters to pick up a fresh pair of sweet jeans.  Kip Winger told me one time (drunk at the Rainbow) that “you can never have too many pairs of sweet jeans.”  I figure if I can trust anyone, it’s him.

So as soon as I woke up at the crack of 3:30pm, I hopped onto the freeway where I sat in traffic for about 1.5 hours…not bad!  I don’t know why everyone complains about driving in LA…especially when you can hear the same Bon Jovi song on the radio pretty much whenever you want.  Some people are just impossible to please, I guess.

Anyway, I got downtown, and by the end of the 2nd chorus to “Bad Medicine” I had found parking and was walking through the high-security gates outside the impenetrable fortress of fashion known as Lip Service/Kill City.  I was greeted by the team of staff members that had assembled for my arrival…all of whom were gracious and respectful, except for Lacey, who started giving me grief for trying on pants without underwear.  WELL EXCUUUUSE ME.  I’m sorry that I’m not just another sheep in the herd of conventionalism that dictates the wearing of undergarments…but you can’t change me, baby.  I’m a rebel.  I can’t wait to tell Slash about this.

So after picking up a few hip-hugging pair of stretch denim beauties, I took off for my dinner party.  I’d tell you what happened, but we already signed the exclusive story rights to TMZ.  You’ll just have to wait for them to air it.

Thurs:

In an effort to cure my hangover from the previously mentioned dinner party, I decided to go drink with my friend Dirty Donny at our favorite sushi joint.  It’s our favorite because they actually RESPECT artists, and show it by seating us before everyone else in line and serving us delicacies that AREN’T mentioned on the regular menu.  It’s the little things that make this lifestyle a little less torturous, I tell you.

Later on, I had to run up to the recording studio…I know what you’re thinking: “Dave, you’re a TATTOO artist, not a RECORDING artist.”  This is true, but when you’re a HOLLYWOOD tattoo artist, you have to make all sorts of appearances– or as I call them, “sacrifices.”  In this case, I had to sit in as a guest vocal coach for a certain band that shall, for publishing purposes, remain nameless.  Here’s a hint:  it rhymes with “Letallica.”  For those of you who have never spent time in a Hollywood Hills recording studio before, it was the typical cornucopia of intravenous drug use and promiscuous sex…neither of which I approve of, but hey, that’s the neighborhood. Boooring.

There aren’t any pictures because “Letallica” is very camera shy.

Friday/Saturday:

Back to work.
A lot of people say that they could NEVER work weekends, but they’re really just saying that they hate their jobs, and most likely, their own lives.  I don’t mind tattooing on weekends…it’s a nice break from all the partying, which sometimes feels like my “real” job.  Got to do some cool tattoos, like these black and gray angel wings on Ricky.  She loved her tattoo so much she insisted on taking me out for drinks afterward.  Now, other celebrity tattoo artists might frown upon drinking with clients, but I’m a nice person…what was I supposed to do, insult her by turning down free drinks?  Yeah right, maybe if I was a total jerk.

Sun:

Today I got a visit at work from an old friend of mine, Ronald.  He’s 7 years old, but he’s been tattooing his entire life, practically.  Aside from being a great artist, he has some pretty good art on him.  Now, before you jump to any conclusions, let me first say that I would never tattoo a child.  It’s totally illegal in this state.  But where Ronald’s from, they have different rules.  Plus, his tattoos look really cool…and 1st grade chicks really dig dudes with tattoos.  I understand he’s quite popular when he actually shows up at school.

Ronald hung out for a while, did a couple tattoos, and then had to catch a plane for a tattoo convention in Dallas.  If you get a chance to get tattooed by him, I’d highly recommend it.

Well, that was my week.  Not too exciting, I know, but hey, what do you want.  I’m just an average dude with positive ‘tude.  Thanks to Lip Service for the sweet threads…Winger’s gonna be so jealous.

Check out Dave’s work at daveparkertattoos.com

Or get a Memorable Mark:
Mon, Tues: 12pm-10pm Ship Shape Tattoo: San Pedro, CA.
Fri, Sat, Sun: 2pm-10pm True Tattoo: Hollywood, CA.