(a.k.a. Stop the damned texting and look where you’re going!)
Most of us, at one time or another, have fallen into what could be called The Millennial Vice. We tell ourselves it’s just a harmless diversion but, deep down, know better. Many fight their way out of the fog and funk but others, unfortunate souls, sink deeper into the abyss.
They just can’t seem to put down the damned internet.
For you whippersnappers who don’t know, the internet was not always everywhere. Those of us who remember when there wasn’t an internet can also recall long evenings suffering an uncomfortable office chair for hours, just to surf the web. Mind you, the early internet, for the most part, was pretty lame but we were hooked anyway, tied to our big, bulky desktop computers for our portal to the waiting cyber world.
Perhaps that was a good thing?
Back in the day, the internet world was still a fairly long-form sort of place, with essay-filled blogs, ongoing conversations in discussion boards or chat rooms, because it was stationary. We were very excited to be able to communicate with people all over the world about everything and nothing, spending hours lingering in relaxed enjoyment of whatever struck our fancy. We were at home, comfortable and relaxed, with plenty of time to savor entertainment or conversation.
Since then, virtually everything about the net has changed, most importantly how and when we connect. Unlike the land-line based old internet, we have a Jetsons-worthy array of ways to access the web on the go from practically anywhere. But do we really need to be on the web everywhere?
I submit, despite the mounting evidence most of you will disagree with me, meat-space deserves more respect than we’re giving it.
Whenever you go out in the world you see them, the folks ignoring their surroundings to post or text about … their surroundings. Then you have the people walking or, gawd forbid driving, in front of you with their heads perpetually down in rapt attention of a tiny, little screen and even tinier, little keypad. Let’s not forget about the addicts who you keep catching sneaking downward glances at the Twitter stream, desperate to not miss any 140 character or less bits of connectedness. I won’t even get into the “social media power user” types, it’s just too sad.
The first step to recovery is admitting there’s a problem.
We haven’t been very good about respecting boundaries, allowing internet to creep in where it had never dared before. Now it threatens to overcome meat-space, demolish all boundaries to become ever-present in our lives. Is this all we really want out of social interaction? Do we honestly not mind so much of our three-dimensional world whittled down to a one-dimensional series of status lines?
Damn, I hope not.
I further, humbly, submit our social culture needs an intervention, maybe a little tough love, too. The signs of meat-space on the ropes are everywhere. But, if we hold off the internet’s attack, just for a little while, meat-space can make a complete recovery.
Here is a nine-step method to get the internet monkey off your back:
- To start off, give yourself some unconnected time at home. Your first withdrawl pangs will be easier in a nice, comfortable space, surrounded by people you trust. Don’t fight them, just ride them out. Giving in to the jones can only drag out the process, so stay firm for as long as you can, then try to see if you can make it longer next time. No sense pushing too far and inviting a relapse, right?
- Next, reacquaint yourself with (or, in the case of you young whippersnappers, introduce yourself to) the longer thought process and physicality of writing a letter. Yes, a real letter written by hand on paper, with no keyboard for edits and do-overs. Back before the internet and email, we geezers didn’t have a way to make corrections without crossing things out, so thought out what we wanted to say before writing and took our time, carefully forming words so the recipient could read them. The words and thoughts we chose to express had weight, gravitas, because they took effort to write and send. The communication required time and attention. A letter was (and is) a compliment, a way to say, “You’re important enough to warrant my undivided attention.” One cannot say the same of an email, no matter how well-written.
- Take it up a notch and invite company over but don’t rely on outside entertainment. Talk, play a game, run amok but don’t fall into checking devices or sitting mute in front of the other glowing box. Take the time to interact and commit to each others’ company. After all, seeking the imaginary (cyber) company of others while already in the company of friends is rude, anyway.
- Once you’ve mastered your domain, take back a little more space for meat-space. Go out into the world and do not check your device, even … dare I say … turn off any notification cues. Just run out to do your errands, pretending the cyber-world can’t come with you out into the meat-space.
- Here’s where it might get dicey for some of you unaccustomed to the wild, unpredictable world of meeting new people without checking out their bios, avatars, and post histories first. Go out into the world and talk to someone, anyone. Strike up a conversation in the long Friday afternoon bank line, enjoy some idle chat with the checker and bagger while they ring you up at the store, don’t ignore the person in the next seat. You’ll know when the time is right. When you’re tuned in to the world around you, those little moments of camaraderie happen fairly often, the times you and a total stranger connect in a common thought or purpose. Instead of letting it pass by with just a knowing glance or nod, say the thing that popped into your head you would have said if a friend was along, and you might be pleasantly surprised how funny and interesting random people can be.
- Start purposefully going to places where devices must be turned off. Certain places are all about complete immersion, so good to begin retraining your mind to engage with meat-space instead of looking for distractions. Take a lazy afternoon to stroll through a museum, get tickets to a show, explore the stacks in the library, whatever will make it easy to forget about that pesky internet monkey on your back.
- Adopt a solo-only internet policy. What I mean is, only do short checks of cyber-space and only when you are on your own. If your dinner companion goes to the bathroom, use those few minutes to check texts and emails, responding only to those which are urgent or time-sensitive. By the time they’ve returned, you should already have your cyber-woobie away and off the table. What this will start to do is demonstrate how ridiculous the idea of missing anything by not being connected is by forcing us to objectively weigh the importance of each communication. Would the random bits cluttering our screens be missed in their absence? Probably not.
- Now you’re feeling secure in the knowledge it’s okay to be unconnected. Urgent, life-changing matters, we’ve confirmed, are not happening on Twitter, unless you are in extremely rare circumstances. Anything important will prompt people to pursue direct contact, so all else can wait until we’re done with whatever we’re doing and have time to check in on the net. Keep expanding the parameters of your unconnected time until you are ready to go for The Big Unplug.
- You knew this day would come, that all the preparation was leading up to this watershed, crossroads sort of moment. It’s time to commit to taking your meat-space back, once and for all.
Take a truly unplugged day. By unplugged, I mean a conscious lack of any outside media … at all. Don’t look at email, twitter, web, even television. Treat texts and phone calls as if each one you give more attention than a cursory peek to decide its importance will cost a fortune (as mobile communication used to in the olden days). Obviously, emergencies can and do happen, which is one of the reasons to carry a mobile phone or device. We just don’t need to let the possibility of them rule our lives.
When The Boss and I go away to visit his parents, their house is, literally, on the side of a mountain surrounded by dense forest. We know, going into the vacation week, that, even if we wanted to keep fully connected to clients and social goings on at home (which we generally don’t anyway), getting and keeping a good signal is difficult at best. Initially, we worried, even though we gave everyone ample warning and preparation for our extended absence from cyber-space. The worries subsided once we discovered that, just by informing of our incommunicado status, people adjusted to not expecting constant contact and were fine with not getting immediate replies.
So, the lesson to be learned, whether we want to hear it or not is: The world will go on just fine without you. While this can be rather disturbing for some to consider, it actually is the best of both worlds. You can choose when you feel like being part of the cyber world without feeling like you can’t leave it behind.
It gives people the opportunity to miss you as well as providing more interesting things to talk about when you do return to the conversation. Folks will be more likely to look forward to your visits, pay closer attention when they happen.
Not a bad prospect, right?
You might even find you … *gasp* … like meat-space without the internet sticking its nose in.
Then, my fine degenerates, is when you know you’ve successfully escaped the clutches of The Millennial Vice.
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About Mich:
Mich Masoch is a lifelong hedonist, degenerate, and card-carrying pervert with a camera. She is also a co-Ringleader of the Circus Hooker Smut Regime design and production studio and creator of Vampyrotic, a web magazine of quality vampire erotica, and other tastefully naughty websites.
Wow, it’s been a while since I checked in with you! The first of the year always flies by, with our back to back trade shows, and with the bulk of them passed, I decided to take a much-needed vacation from our beloved Lippy Land! Of course, workaholic that I tend to be, instead of relaxing on a beach sipping margaritas I headed out on a tour with my band, Cold Blue Rebels, for a tour of the Pacific Northwest which spanned 3 states and equaled 9 shows in 10 days!
A great show at Queen of Hearts Saloon in Portland, then on to a show at Green River collage in Auburn, WA hosted by KGRG 89.9 DJ “The Pope” form Zorch radio, who did a great job and took good care of both bands. Down to Johnny B’s in Medford, OR, a great little Rockabilly/Punk bar, and a long white-knuckle drive down to Trinidad, CA for a gig at the Cher-Ae Heights Casino. That drive should have taken 3 hrs, but took 5 1/2 due to 175 miles of winding through the redwood roads in bad rain and fog!! They gave us 5 star treatment, which was great after days of bad road food and sleeping on promoters floors! Let me tell ya folks, 9 shows in 10 days covering 2500 miles is not a picnic and easily separates the weak from the road warriors!! Rock n Roll don’t pay like it used to and all should respect anyone willing to tough it out, even for a couple weeks!
We ended in Sacramento and then home feeling beat up, sore, and shabby, but somehow full of life at the same time!! Back to work and reality but, I must say, feeling very ALIVE!!! If you haven’t taken a road trip recently or ever (god forbid), do yourself a favor and get out there and do some traveling. There’s no excuse, you can do it in a weekend or a few days. Who knows, we might all be gone in 2012 anyway!! It’s never too late and you can even do it on a broke-ass budget. with summer coming, it will only be easier to sleep in your car, camp on the beach, and hotel prices are dropping lower all the time!
