Archive for June, 2011

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How I longed to attend this year’s Wave Gotik Treffen (largest Goth music gathering in the world)! In early June, SiSEN, G-suS and other spooky friends flew to Leipzig, Germany for the festivities.

I couldn’t make it due to travel and scheduling conflicts… but I’m not complaining. Sebastiano and I were flown to Florence, to take part in Luisaviaroma Firenze4Ever (event for 40 top fashion bloggers from around the world). Naturally, we still wore our Goth-Visual clothes! You can see photos from the cocktail party and styling lab on my blog.

Thankfully, talented photographers Seventh Sin (Jen Hoffert and Holger Karas) were front and center at WGT, and wrote this report on the bands and fashion. Is Lolita on the decline? How is steampunk changing? Keep reading to find out. (All images by Seventh Sin.)

Wave Gotik Treffen 2011 was a special one, as it was the 20th anniversary of a gathering of dark people from all over the world. The percentage of foreigners increases every year; this time, we met people from Japan, China, US, Australia and many European countries. The performing artists also come from all over the globe including a metal band from China. With approximately 50 venues spread throughout Leipzig, people gathered at various far-off places, and so the famous WGT catwalk at the Agra Messepark was sometimes rather deserted.

In addition over 250 bands playing over five days, there were many other things to see and do — including free entrance for WGT visitors to museums, the opera and the symphony. One of the largest cinemas hosted a “Twilight” marathon, and smaller ones played indie films like Goths on the Move. At least two independently-organised art exhibitions took place: SEELENFRESSER Titten + Ärsche + Über-Ich at the Werk II venue and S.C.L.S.: State – Society – Landscapes – Society featuring the work of Laibach and Neue Slovenische Kunst.

Fashion-wise there was no obvious new trends this year, but definitely shifts in the most prevalent outfits. While the whole Lolita theme seems to be decreasing, there is a certain increase in both historical and Victorian dresses as well as Steampunk. The Cyber Goth style seemed to decline at the Agra venue, but this might be due to the fragmentation of the festival into three or more hot spots.

The historical-recreation fraction of the Treffen still is mostly a DIY trend, although there are a few specialty brands available that serve this community. The dresses seem to get more elaborate as over the time the sewing skills increase.

In addition to the labels vending at the market, there were some new, smaller labels handing out advertisements: Dark Fusion Boutique, USA, Royal Black, Austria, and Steampunk II, Elfenrausch, Germany.

The increasing number of Steampunks could be sorted into two categories. There were many people using brands like Lip Service to create their basic Steampunk outfit and then “spicing it up” with custom accessories. Others relied mostly on self made items, sometimes overdoing with props and add ons, although the level of ingenuity in the Steampunk community continues to amaze.

Music was widespread through all genres and there were some extraordinary acts on stage this time. Due to our responsibilities as photographers we couldn’t see them all, but at least we were able to sneak in visits to some of our favorites. (Above: Das Ich, who have played at Midnight Mess in Tokyo.)

In the infamous Moritzbastei I was able to stand at the very front row of a Gothika show.

Andro San gave an amazing performance in his pretty red kimono, while Yoshi was more sexy than ever.

The incomparable Diamanda Galas. (Yukiro reviewed her Swedish performance.)

Another inspiring show was Monica Richards project Infrawarrior, with new musicians and an amazing audio-visual concept with ritualistic influences. The presence of Monica and her main dancer Lucretia was amazing and mind shaking, and fortunately, we were able to capture a visual impression.

Even with a reported 23,000 visitors, Wave Gothic Treffen is still “THE” place to gather and find all of our friends, sometimes without even trying. We literally bumped into many people, including SiSen and G-suS from Tokyo on the opera house steps moments before the doors opened to Diamanda Galas. We saw J-Goth Amiyu a few times, including while crawling home at the end of a wonderful but exhausting five days of dark music, culture and friends.

Thank you to Holger and Jen for the scoop! I recommend that you check out the book Black Celebration – 20 years WGT, edited by Jennifer Hoffert and Alexander Nym, which was presented at several readings. “Black Celebration” is a bilingual (German/English) volume with anecdotes, memories and images from two decades of dark underground culture in Leipzig. Contributing authors include musicians such as Bruno Kramm of Das Ich; the images vary from black and white analog in the nineties to full-color digital photography. Hand numbered copies (limited to 300) are still available, but only directly from the publisher, Ploettner Verlag.

Hungry for more visual inspiration? You can go back in time to my 2009 report about WGT. I also featured Seventh Sin photography in this post about Japan Goth fashion and nightlife.

Many travels ahead… next time, I’ll bring you Global Gothic coverage from Hong Kong and Italy. I also recently released a charity T-shirt line, with proceeds going to help Japan. You can see photos and find out more here. Thanks for supporting!

XXX LA CARMINA XXX
http://www.lacarmina.com/

QUEEN OF THE ACTION FLICKS

Your life is stellar!!! Why? Because, this month, you Lip Service cretins get to look at pictures of supremely talented, half naked HOTNESS! (You dirty bastards!) And you’re gonna learn about one of the sexiest action hero vixens who has ever dawned her powerful presence in the cult films your inquisitive eyeballs and creepy minds could not possibly live without! (And I know I’m not just yappin’ for myself here…)

Of course, I’m speaking of the Austrian actress known for her many roles in B movies, sci-fi, action, and horror films. Boils and Ghouls … Without further ado …  I give you the ever-so-stunning…
SYBIL DANNING.

Sybil became an actress after leaving home at the age of 16. Making her film debut in Komm nur, meins Liebstes Vogelein, portraying the legendary German mermaid “Lorelei” covered by only long blonde tresses. The next year she had a role in one of Robert DeNiro’s first movies, Sam’s Songs. She was cast in Blackbeard along with Raquel Welch, playin’ a high-caliber prostitute. The same year, she appeared in Eye of the Labyrinth, a giallo thriller. Then came The Three Musketeers and The Four Musketeers, again with R.Welch… Oh ya!

She moved to Hollywood in ’78, leaving her friends and family in Europe behind to pursue her career with zero contract, zero agent, and zero idea what the future would bring. But the future was gonna be bright for this serious, educated, physically fit, politically aware, intelligent, and beautiful woman. The 5’7″ blue-eyed blonde embodied all the qualities to take over… and then some. After portraying an extraterrestrial Amazon named Saint-Exmin in the ’80 movie, Battle Beyond the Stars, she earned “The Golden Scroll Award Of Merit” from the Academy of Science-Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror films. Then on to a ton of crucial B films.

In ’83 Danning appeared on the cover of the August issue of Playboy magazine. They christened her “Queen of the Action Flicks.” Next she co-starred with Christopher Lee in The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf, playing Stirba, an evil werewolf queen. She then began hittin’ up American TV series. I loved her in The Fall Guy and V. I never missed an episode. She can be seen with rocker Wendy O. Williams (The Plasmatics) in Reform School Girls and, after sketch parody Amazon on the Moon, she founded her own company “Adventuress Production, Inc.” and produced “L.A. Bounty”, which she starred and helped write. She was the hostess of her own collection of 26 action-adventure movies baring the title “Sybil Danning’s Adventure Video” and had her first tailor-made action comic book “Sybil Danning is Black Diamond.” YA!

In the 90s Sybil ran into a setback. While rehearsing a movie stunt, she had an accident in a gymnasium. Forced to rest, she worked with writers on her first screenplay… But the pain worsened. Doctors misdiagnosed her condition and, finally, a surgeon recommended by Jack Nicholson discovered Danning had two severely-herniated discs. She underwent a series of epidurals, followed by traction, and spent over a year recovering.

But, as you all know, you can never keep a good girl down and Sybil rocked it back into public performance. Big time. She returned to the big screen most notably in the movie Grindhouse in a faux trailer titled Werewolf Women of the S.S. This was followed by her appearance in Rob Zombie’s re-make of Halloween. She appeared in the third season of the ‘here!’ series The Lair as Frav von Hess, a sinister vampiress out to kill the vamp whose influence over her son caused her transformation. Oh ya, and she played the succubus in the t.v. series Superboy. Always tough and very sexy dangerous.

Sybil has remained true to her portrayal of strong characters. She’s writing her autobiography and developing new projects she will produce and also appear.

I’ve touched base on one of her flicks in a past Devil Inside article (Werewolves), but came to the realization we need more S.D. in our lives. I thought I would get a more exclusive interview into the mind of a brilliant and talented actress to see what irons she has in the fire. Being the amazing friend she is, she agreed and it goes like this…

C.C. In most of your movies you play a sexy, dynamic, commanding, super-hero industrial strength woman. Strong roles. Do you ever wonder if this intimidates directors and producers?

SD – Gee, you noticed! No, I don’t think I have ever intimidated my directors or producers because they hired me to play such a role in the first place. If a producer decides to produce or a director decides to direct a movie with such a strong female character, they obviously like those kinds of female characters.  Chances are they probably have a strong female in their lives or wish they had. Thank God for writers who create those roles. In my case, sometimes they re-write them with the ok of the director and producer or even let me play a role written for a man.  It worked for Sigourney Weaver when the producer of ALIEN decided the lead role would be more interesting if played by a woman. Interestingly when interviewed by an L.A. Times journalist and asked if “she now thinks she will be categorized as Sybil Danning playing such roles since this was the first of its kind?” she took it in stride.

Talking about Directors, I loved your interview with my dear friend Penelope Spheeris.  She and I met at the Sundance Film Festival.  Loving her work I sent her a project on an “Icon and his band” which Penelope loves.  Music publishing has been negotiated and cleared.  We can’t say more right now but will once ready.

C.C. YeYeah!!! Not many actors get their own comic book such as “Sybil Danning is, Black Diamond.” We need more of this.

SD – Yes, my comic book was very successful which took me to the San Diego ComicCon Convention for the first time.  I will be there again next month, on Saturday, July 23 signing the release copies of my cult classic movie BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS on Blu-Ray.  My “Sybil Danning is, Black Diamond” was to become a female James Bond movie but when financing fell through, so too the comic book ended.  I have another exciting comic book in mind in the near future and will let you know.

C.C. I’m thinking you actually might really be a vampire. You’ve hardly aged. Sybil… Are you a vamp? (Hehehe)

SD – Nice pun CC. You’re right; I have been called a vamp.  The vampire part?  Who wouldn’t want to be one?  They’re beautifully pale, sexy, intelligent, successful and rich, not to mention eternally young and beautiful.  I love them and am producing a Vampire movie I will also be in.  However, instead of living the night life – I must have my nights rest to keep up my looks and keep up with my fans. Sophia Loren once told me as I was having lunch with her in her Villa in Rome, she always makes sure she has 7-8 hours of sleep a night and that is her beauty secret.  I agree.  Unfortunately until I’ve found a solution I will focus my vampirism on screen.

Sybil with Sophia Loren

C.C. You have worked with so many great directors and actors, are there any talented folks you’ve yet to work with that you’d jump at the chance too? Whose films are intriguing to you?

SD – To mention a couple, immediately Leonardo DiCaprio (favorites-AVIATOR, TITANIC, BLOOD DIAMOND) and Russell Crowe (favorites-  GLADIATOR, A BEAUTIFUL MIND, CINDERELLA MAN,)  come to mind.  They are extremely passionate performers, very sexy and personify the ultimate strong male figures emotionally as well as psychically.  I love cars, clothing and movies with strong male/female “Bogie & Bergman” characters of the 40’s.  Director Martin Scorsese I’ve wanted to work with as long as I can remember.   I love the ultimate passion he injects in his movies my favorites starting with TAXI DRIVER, GOODFELLAS, RAGING BULL, GANGS OF NEW YORK, Michael Jackson’s bad Video, THE AVIATOR and pretty much everything in-between.

C.C. You took a hiatus from acting for quite sometime. What sparked your interest to come back?

SD – MY FANS!  It was my first time at the major Memorabilia Show in New Jersey, Chiller Theatre, October 2005. My fans were lined up with photos, posters, magazines, videos, you name it from my movies, some of which I had forgotten.  I signed those and photos I brought and was amazed how many of my fans were there to see me, get my autograph and I listened to how passionate they were about the one or other movie. They asked me when I was going to do another Woman in Prison or Werewolf movie, etc. It was then I realized my fans want to see me again on the big screen.  Always thankful to my fans for my success, I realized how loyal they were to me all the years I was absent and I owed them to go back to doing movies.  Not easy to ease back into the biz after so long, I took it very serious and did what I could to make a come-back.  I did it with Tarantino’s WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS and Rob Zombies re-make of HALLOWEEN which made my fans really happy and me too.  It was my turning point.  I also thank my most loyal fan and friend  to date Jim Blogg who during my years of absence kept his Sybil Danning Fan club:  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheLegendofSybilDanning/ alive and hoping for my return.  Jim started, created and is Web Master of my Website www.sybildanning.net.  Thank you so much Jim for your dedication and loyalty. Loyalty is of major importance to me and Jim stood with me.

C.C. I’ve been fantasizing about a Chad Cherry perfume. I think you can probably help me out with this. What should I do?

SD – Don’t fantasize, do it!  Get your favorite scent, put it in a bottle, and call it “Gets You Off” named after your “Whatever Gets You Off” hot number.  The girls will LOVE it and the guys will want it.

C.C. Brilliant! Ok, most people probably don’t like this question, but bein’ who I am and doin’ what I do… I will always ask. What are you listening to music-wise right now?

SD –Right now.  I just gave it away above – your dirty rock “Whatever Gets You Off!”  I love it!  Great lyrics, rock and Video!  And by the way I also love your beautiful ballad, “Apologize.”  Like Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe, I love your tough and tender sides!  CC, you’re cool, you’re hot!

C.C. I’m going to accept those fantastic, lovely words. (As C.C. blushes like a li’l schoolboy) Can ya tell the kiddies about some of your highly stylized writings and the producing you do for films?

SD – I love writing; though painful when staring at an empty sheet, it’s very satisfying once everything synchronizes and comes together.  I took a 4 day Seminar with Screen writing Guru Robert McKee.  Barry Manilow was in my class.  I’ve written and re-written a few screenplays, nothing I’ve yet produced.  I seriously started when I was flat on my back in and out of the hospital ending with surgery.  I ruptured 2 discs and tore all tissue while flipping a girl over my back in my gym.  Because time is precious, once on my feet again I focused on acting and producing.  Though difficult and frustrating especially in this economic period I find producing very creative because it gives you the opportunity to create elements necessary for a successful movie. All I’m currently writing is my Autobiography for which I have a deadline. I’m very fortunate to have Marshall Terrill bestselling Novelist Steve McQueen: Portrait of an American Rebel, Elvis: Still Taking Care of Business and many others, as my Editor in Chief.  I’m also very happy to say, two-time Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner will produce and star in a McQueen biopic based on two books by Marshall Terrill: Portrait of an American Rebel and his most recent, The Life and Legacy of a Hollywood Icon.

C.C. Can’t wait. Let us know what’s up and coming in Sybil’s world? What can the fans expect next?

SD – My last movie, VIRUS X released by LionsGate is out and can be found at Blockbuster, Amazon, Netflix and Walmart.  Soon it will also be available on my website www.sybildanning.net with other DVDs, Posters, Photos and other Memorabilia.  I will be at the exciting NEW COMIKAZE (Comic, Anime, Gaming, Sci-Fi, and Horror) Expo in Los Angeles November 5 & 6, 2011. Get ready all my HOWLING II fans and meet me at High-Noon, Nov 5 because I will be auctioning for the first time ever my most popular leather and brass complete costume by MAD MAX designer Peter Mitchell.  I’m producing a “Vampire” movie written by Scott Sanford and will be in it as well.  More on that once I have the financing completed.  I’m also producing a movie/TV series on “RUGER” a character I own.  I wrote the script and have a bible ready for the follow-up TV series. What’s most exciting is that I and my producing partner Les Thomas, a Video Game Analyst, Specialist and Journalist have RUGER in development as a First Person Shooter Cloud Game.  I will reveal more to you as we go along.  Right now I’m holding her design, etc close to my bullet proof vest.  I will give you links to the whirlwind PR we’ve gotten on RUGER at the recent largest Los Angeles Gaming E3Expo in the world.  This has already spread throughout Asia and Europe with whom Les is working.  One thing I can tell you, for sure there will be MAJOR MADAME MAHEM!
All my fans please go to www.sybildanningsruger.com to stay informed on RUGER…or else!

C.C. Yes! Very amazing. So you and I have been toying around with the idea about a The Last Vegas video for a lil’ while now. I see something very grand in the near future. Do you think the world will be ready for this? (I know they’ll be.)

SD –CC, love your crystal balls!  The Italians told me my name in Italian comes from Sibila Gumana, a mystic Fortune Teller, and yes, I too see something very hot and heavy in the very near future. Hell yes, the world is ready because the world is OUR FANS and they are ripe and ready for US!
Thank you and all my Love and Bullets to you CC and all my loyal fans, Sybil.
Please follow me on:
www.sybildanning.net
www.sybildanningsruger.com
www.facebook.com/sybildanning
www.twitter.com/sybildanning

Links to recent RUGER News:
http://www.examiner.com/la-action-adventure-game-in-los-angeles/sybil-danning-pioneering-games-with-cloud-shooter

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/06/09/okay-what-sybil-danning%e2%80%99s-ruger/

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/pressreleases/73433/Sybil_Danning_pioneering_games_with_cloud_shooter.php

http://gameinatrix.com/gamer-girls-radio-come-for-the-boobs-stay-for-the-brains/lunch-with-gingir-and-cori/other-gossip/item/1783-sybil-danning-pioneering-games-with-cloud-shooter

http://media-newswire.com/release_1152056.html

Registered videogame journalists can also keep up-to-date with Press Releases on:
www.gamespress.co.uk

I simply love this woman. She’s a super hero, Valkyrie, mermaid, terrorizer, vamp mom, spy, werewolf, sex symbol, writer, producer, and all around ass kicker. Lookin’ good the whole time. She just confirmed her status as out-of-control amazing! Check her out in action. NOW!

CHECK OUT SYBIL! And sign her guestbook!
www.sybildanning.net

As for me.
I’m under your bed right now… Go check.. I dare you.
(And clean yer place up next time I creep in, it’s a pig pen!)

Actually summer time festivals are were I’m at. And I’m everywhere. Let’s ROCK-n-ROLL. YEYEAH!!!! xoxo
Chad Cherry www.thelastvegas.com

[Show as slideshow]

FILMOGRAPHY
********************
Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriquez’ GRINDHOUSE (2007) ….Gretchen Krupp (WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS Segment)
HALLOWEEN (2007)…….Nurse Wynn
(Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN)
Jump (2006)….Anna Gruber
L.A. Bounty (1989) …. Ruger…Writer/Producer
Talking Walls (1987) …. Bathing Beauty
Warrior Queen (1987) …. Berenice
Amazon Women on the Moon (1987) …. Queen Lara
The Phantom Empire (1986) …. Alien Queen
Reform School Girls (1986) …. Sutter
The Tomb (1986) …. Jade
Malibu Express (1985) …. Contessa Luciana
Private Passions (1985) …. Kathrine
Young Lady Chatterley II (1985) …. Judith Grimmer
Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)….Stirba
Jungle Warriors (1984)…. Angel
Panther Squad (1984) …. Ilona…Producer
They’re Playing with Fire (1984) …. Diane Stevens
Chained Heat (1983) …. Ericka
The Seven Magnificent Gladiators (1983) …. Julia
Hercules (1983) …. Ariadne
Julie Darling (1982) …. Susan
S.A.S. San Salvador (1982) …. Countess Alexandra Vogel
The Salamander (1981) …. Lili Anders
Saturn Awards (1981) (TV)
Separate Ways (1981) …. Mary
How to Beat the High Co$t of Living (1980) …. Charlotte
Man with Bogart’s Face, The (1980) …. Cynthia
Battle Beyond the Stars (1980) …. Saint-Exmin
Nightkill (1980) …. Monika Childs
Day of the Cobra (1980)….Brenda
Cuba Crossing (1980) …. Veronica
Meteor (1979) …. Swiss Girl Skier
The Concorde: Airport ’79 (1979) …. Amy
Cat in the Cage (1978) …. Susan Khan
Crossed Swords (1978) …. Mother Canty
Operation Thunderbolt (1977)….Halima
Albino (1976) …. Saly
God’s Gun (1976)…Jenny
The Four Musketeers (1974) …. Eugenie
The Three Musketeers (1973) …. Eugenie
Red Queen Kills 7 Times (1972)
Loves of a French Pussycat (1972)….Andrea
Bluebeard (1972) …. A Prostitute
Naughty Nymphs (1972)….Elizabeth
The Long Swift Sword of Siegfried (1972)…. Kriemhild
Swedish Love Games (1971)
The Swap (1969)
***************************************************************
TELEVISION APPEARANCES
YEAR……SHOW………….EPISODE……………ROLE
1989____ Superboy______Succubus_____Pamela Dare
1985___Street Hawk___Vegas Run___Linda Martin
1984___The Hitchhiker___Face To Face___Gloria
1984___V: The Final Battle___Visitors Choice___Mary Kruger
1984___The Fall Guy___Prisoner___Karina
1984___Masquerade___Flashpoint___KGB Agent
1983___Simon and Simon___Bon Voyage, Alonso___Marla
1981___Vegas___Set Up___Eva Swenson
1974___Derrick___Zeichen der Gewalt___Irina Hausman

After giving the Muthas their due, I only thought it fair with Father’s Day just around the corner to give a nod to the Daddies. Not Dad with ties and brunches and that crap, obviously; I mean Daddies in a “Who’s Your” kind of way. These are the guys who make us feel sexy, willing to dive into the depths of dirtiness at their request. Some rockers just have it, sexiness exuding from their every utterance, while sometimes it just takes the right song to bring it out. It’s what I like to call SMOOOOOOOOOV, a pimptastic level of confidence set to music. It might be some straight-up macking, a bit of caveman bravado, or just a song so hot your panties make a break for it all on their own in response. It’s all good and it’s definitely all smoov.

Hold onto your panties and ask yourself, “Who’s your Smoov Daddy?”

10 Elvis Presley “Treat Me Nice”

You knew Elvis was going to have to make an appearance in here somewhere. I just thought it best to remove the anticipation and kick off with the the Daddy-est Elvis song ever conceived. Elvis, you see, already owns you sexually and he knows it. He doesn’t have to do all that mooning, sappy romantic crap, because you’re coming a-running anyway, aren’t you? Come on … this is hot, young Elvis we’re talking about here. Being willing is just not going to be enough; he’s got to cut down the mobs begging to bang him somehow. You had best dote on the man or, as he is happy to tell you, he’ll “walk right out on you.”

9 Nine Inch Nails “Closer”

Sometimes a Smoov Daddy comes in the form of an angry, short, perverted guy and, in this case, that guy is Trent Reznor. He’s not satisfied with your usual sort of sexy come-on, no not Trent. As you might expect, he takes it to a kinda weird, dark, creepy place. Stunning, right? But here’s the thing, when he starts off with wanting to “violate you” and “desecrate you”, then sings he wants to “Fuck you like an animal”, you know those panties don’t have long in their current upright and locked position.

8 Bruce Springsteen “I’m on Fire”

“Hey, little girl, is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone? I’ve got a bad desire.” I don’t care who you are or what sort of music you fancy, if you hear the opening to this song and your girl-type naughty bits don’t twinge at least a little, you are probably borg. Bruce may be singing like the man on the outside, but we know that’s all just bullshit, don’t we? Who’s your Daddy? Bruce is, that’s who. Any man who wakes up in a sweat just from wanting you … he’s going to get in there and, when he does, he’s going to blow your fucking doors (panties) off with the sheer force of his lust. Yum.

7 Van Halen “Ice Cream Man”

Who thinks David Lee Roth is actually singing about frozen dairy treats? Anyone? Anyone? Nah, me neither. Let’s face it, Diamond Dave is one of those guys the term “Golden Rock God” was created to describe. He could sing you the phone book in his smoov, gravelly voice, throw in a few yelps and moans, and we’d all be wet and covered in sweat. So, when Dave wraps his sexy around a proposition? Panties will be dropped! And that’s good because, “Dave’s got something for you …”

6 Boomtown Rats “Skin on Skin”

Maybe some of you are a bit too young to remember the Boomtown Rats’ Bob Geldof before he aged up and became a saint of the world’s hungry masses. Back in the day, Bob (also known as “Modest Bob”) was a bit of a bastard. But he was our sort of bastard, mouthy with a bad attitude a mile long and an endless supply of swagger and bravado. Oh, and he was white-hot sexy, too. You could imagine, with his boundless energy, you’d need a rubber room or bounce house to fuck him. So, hearing this punk rock god singing about the scrape of skin on skin and sweat and *oh my* to that insistent jungle beat … imagine how you’d have to go at it to keep up with the rhythm … yeah, that’s pretty fucking hot.

Sadly, Skin on Skin was not able to embed, so I couldn’t include more than a link. Skin on Skin video Instead, I’ll include a favorite of mine from the Rats with some equally sexy Modest Bob. Enjoy!

5 The Rolling Stones “Under My Thumb”

Who is so hot they can refer to their woman as a “squirming dog”? You got it, Mick fucking Jagger! Watch some video of Mick from back in the day sometime, especially you young whippersnappers. The man may be looking eerily like Don Knotts nowadays but, in his heyday, he was a god of sextastic, androgynous slinky beauty. Still photos just can’t capture the oozing sexy emanating from Mick’s every pore. And, now that “the change has come” and he’s on top? He’s gonna make you bitches work for it! He’s not going to stop there, either; he’s goiing to turn the tables and see how you like the squeeze. You dig it and you know it. Very smoov, Mick.

4 Elvis Costello “I Want You”

Okay, you might not think about this Elvis and get steamy in the drawers, but Elvis Costello is about to change all that. He wants you to know the extent of his deep obsessive (almost stalker-like) longing, the ache he has for you. Now, if it weren’t one of the sexiest, slinkiest (and intelligently poetic) songs ever written and performed in the history of sexy songs? It doesn’t really matter, because it is. It’s a panty-dropping song of the highest magnitude. I challenge anyone to listen and not immediately want to find him (or the closest reasonable facsimile) and get down to it immediately. It takes some deep smoov to turn getting dumped into pure raw sexiness and Elvis most definitely has it. (The video has an extra treat for the guys, with clips of the delicious Rachel Weiss. Rowr!)

3 Billy Idol “Be a Lover”

Okay, you might look at ol’ Billy today and just think, “washed-up geezer with really bad caps” and I can’t blame you. He’s kind of a symbol of the excess of the Reagan 80s and has worked it for all its worth. But, back in the day, Billy Idol was the epitome of fuckable. He was hot, had a low, sexy voice with a body that wouldn’t quit, and represented something irresistibly edgy and dangerous. Delicious! So, when he followed up his first solo hits with a punk-a-billy beat, singing about wanting to spend his time making love to you? Panties were dropped! Lots of them!

Have mercy!

2 AC/DC “You Shook Me All Night Long”

“She told me to come but I was already there … ” Oh YES! By the strictest definition of the list, AC /DC probably shouldn’t be up here. I’ve never listened to You Shook Me All Night Long and wanted to fuck any member of AC/DC (though Led Zeppelin’s “You Shook Me” definitely breeds a need to jump Robert Plant, if that counts for anything). But, this song has so much panty-dropping magic, it causes otherwise perfectly demure women to turn into the most lewd stripper you’ve ever seen, right before your very eyes. There is great power in this song, which should be used wisely and with spotters available for beginners.

1 Def Leppard “Pour Some Sugar on Me”

Dirty girls of the world unite in salute to the greatest panty-dropping song of all time! I think Joe Elliott said it best in an interview with VH1 (which I paraphrase). When asked about what is universally considered the Official Stripper Anthem, he offered, “You got the peaches, I got the cream … we’re not talking about dessert …” This is unmitigated dirtiness organized into stanzas and chorus … a musical celebration of animal fucking … and it is GOOD. Joe and the boys have a sweet tooth … Ladies! To the poles!

All-Time Smoov Daddy Champion: Prince “Sexy Motherfucker”

Prince is a dirty, sexy beast. We know this, but he likes to elaborate further, sharing all the unspeakably filthy things he’d like to do to and with us. Prince is the sort of guy who will get you to wallow all manner of advanced perversion, just because he likes it nasty. He revels in the greasy funk … not sex, but orgiastic carnal writhing that makes you find a new religion in his pants. Because, let’s be honest with ourselves. Prince might be a little, scrawny, awfully feminine looking dude in lacy blouses and heels, but when he whispers in that little moan, “Come here, baby,” we’re there with no panties in sight. He is not only a Sexy Motherfucker, but the smoovest of Smoov Daddies!

Just TRY to play this song and not wiggle around and gyrate like Prince likes … I dare you.

Well, that’s my collection of smoovness to take with you over the Fathers’ Day weekend. Wishing a happy day to all you Dads and especially you Daddies!

Until next month, happy sinning!

When I first started my website, I said I wouldn’t write music reviews, because there are tons of other metal sites out there who write reviews much better than I could. Two years on, I’ve amended my policy, and more and more music reviews are finding their way onto Steff Metal. I’m busy compiling a list of the best releases of 2011 so far, but I thought I’d give Lippy readers a taste of what I’m currently thrashing on my iPod.

Man-Eating Tree – Vine

Vine came out in 2010, and missed making my Top 10 Albums of 2010 list only by virtue of the fact I didn’t know it existed. Now I do, and I’m all the better for it. Man-Eating Tree hail from Finland, the country with the most metal bands per capita in the world, so it’s no surprise their lineup comprises some big names. Vesa Ranta from Sentenced, on drums, plus members of Poisonblack, Embraze and Reflexion, and Toumas Tuominen’s (ex-Fall of the Leafe) powerful vocals. If you like dark gothic soundscapes, stunning, deep vocals and captivating, soaring melodies, you’ll enjoy this unique album of gothic music.

Rebellion – Arise: From Ginnungagap to Ragnarok – History of the Vikings, Vol III.

I listen to this album non-stop while working on my novels. You know how you buy an album on the strength of one of two songs, but then the rest of the album turns out to be weak? No so with Arise – every song blisters with dark riffs, soaring vocals and Viking anger. It’s a brilliant power metal record, with deep vocals that would appeal even to non-power metal fans. I’m gutted to hear that three of the founding members, including guitarist Uwe Lulis, left the band, but at least they were able to conclude their Viking trilogy with this amazing album.

Kalmah – The Black Waltz

Say what you will about the metal scene today, but there is no one out there quite like Kalmah. Trying to describe their music leaves me stumped – there are strong melodic death metal elements mixed with beautiful, catchy hooks. While many other bands wearing the label “melodic death metal” tend to throw a myriad of musical elements into the fray and record whatever mess they produce, Kalmah create beautiful, evocative and downright catchy tunes. Black Waltz is their best record to date and I think you’d be crazy not to check it out.

Arch Enemy – Khaos Legions

The new album from Swedish melodic metallers doesn’t disappoint. The first half shows a different side of this band with some interesting, almost power metal style songs, although Angela’s signature vocals still steal the show. A solid release full of pumping melodies, catchy riffs and general kick-assery. A great 2011 headbanging anthem.

What are you listening to right now? What albums, artists and bands do you think deserve a little more recognition?

Who am I? I’m Steff. Born in New Zealand, raised on a steady diet of metal and out-of-print archaeology books, I’m now a freelance writer, accessible formats producer, and full-time iron maiden.

Story by: Dan Barrett

I had been tracking the thing for nearly five years, and the culmination of my rigorous efforts had finally paid off. After painstakingly monitoring the haunted Pine Barrens of New Jersey, vigilantly tracking the movements of the legendary Jersey Devil, I had at last caught it off guard during one of its extremely rare daytime appearances. There had been much construction in the area in the last quarter century, encroaching into the devil’s suspected habitat, and as a result the number of sightings had increased greatly.

On this day, it had come to an outcropping of unused cement pipes; seemingly creeping ever-closer to the nearby town in order to feed. One would not dare to hunt the thing at night, for it takes on a most heinous and otherworldly form in these dark hours, impossibly grotesque and fearsome enough to cause the most stalwart of hunters to flee. During waking hours, however, it seemed to take on a traditional human form; this must be how it evaded humanity for its alleged two and a half century existence. When I saw it appear in plain sight, I knew I had a small window to work with and instantaneously leapt into action. I was able to take down the cursed, devil-spawned 13th child somewhat easier than expected with my plethora of hunting paraphernalia.

Once subdued, I planned to return the fiend to civilization and collect a ransom from the city. On the condition there was no ransom out for the creature, I would instead present it carnival freak-show style to earn back the money I spent acquiring the gear used to apprehend it. The beast did not seem pleased when told of its newly apportioned fate. I took it to a large metal shipping container which should adequately serve to house the thing. I chained it inside and left, planning to return the subsequent day. Upon returning, I discovered I had grossly underestimated the Jersey Devil. With an inhuman, ear-piercing howl, it easily snapped off the restraints and descending upon me, tearing me into a hundred bits with its horrible clawed hands. When the massacre concluded it retreated into the ill-lit dusk, primed to kill again.

The Jersey Devil Made You Do It

I’ve called myself a resident of many places. For close to three years I lived in a particularly depressing town, inconveniently located in the Southern Tier of New York state, called Binghamton (it’s actually considered to be one of the “bigger” towns in Upstate New York, but you’ve probably never heard of it). Believe me when I say that it was nothing to write home about. And because upstate New York is such a non-stop party, six months later I moved three and a half hours north to Buffalo. While my reason for moving there can’t be chalked up to either good or sober decision making, anything was a vast improvement over the ass end of nowhere that was Binghamton. I now live in Washington DC. Ideally, I’d love to live in either Toronto or Montreal, and luckily I’ve never lived in Pennsylvania (straddling the PA border in godforsaken Binghamton proved to be evidential enough to the fact that the Universe conspired against me). And despite spending the first nine years of my life in southern Poland, I always have and always will consider myself to be from New Jersey.

Oh shit, you mean Bruce Springsteen? Bon Jovi? Those guidos on Jersey Shore? The mafia? Bad smells?

I can’t even NAME a Bruce Springsteen song, mainly due to the fact that I relocated to New Jersey in 1992 from Eastern Europe. Having discovered “goth” just a few years after, left me quite happily ignorant of mainstream pop icons in general. Especially those who took the stage way before my time. Based on that principle of being a “blissfully unaware foreigner” I’m only vaguely acquainted with Bon Jovi. He does that “Living on a Prayer” track, right? Most of the guidos don’t even live in New Jersey (try Poughkeepsie and Staten Island, both conveniently located in New York). Alas, my Polish father liked to talk about the mafia while intoxicated when I was younger, so yeah, you got me there. That shit is probably true. It only smells ON THE FUCKING TURNPIKE in north Jersey, since it’s a high-traffic stretch of highway sandwiched between numerous factories. And that ladies and gentlemen is my humble way of saying “Fuck you New York, if you’re gonna hate on us, why do you keep on coming back to our “smelly” beaches?” Just sayin’.

With that said, the show that put the Garden State on the world’s radar in the worst way possible is essentially on point. Guidos do flock to Seaside Heights in droves during warm vacation months. They do look like oompa loompas on stereoids. They love to start fights. Like any other working/middle class New Jersey-ian kid I’d go to Seaside Heights every summer with my parents. In my teenage years, as my interest in booze and cheap thrills grew inversely proportional to being seen with my family, I’d hit the shore with friends in search of strong frozen drink, high calorie foods and House of the Dead arcade games. If you stayed on the boardwalk past dusk, you’d be guaranteed to see at least one guido fight break out. Every. single. fucking. time.

But that’s not MY New Jersey.

My New Jersey isn’t Club Karma and made-for-reality-TV-drama. It’s QXT’s in Newark. It’s devouring post-club grease in seedy diners at 5 am, driven by an alcohol-fueled urge to feed without worrying about your calorie intake. It’s record shops that still carry industrial music. It’s urban exploration of all the magnificent decay. It’s Clinton Road and the Devil’s Tree. It’s submitting your own spin on a local legend to the pages of Weird NJ. It’s the Asbury Park Zombie Walk. It’s a Six Flags that doesn’t suck. It’s exquisite views of Manhattan from across the river, minus the Manhattan rent. It’s 908, 973 and 201. It’s real life landmarks you see in Kevin Smith movies (Yes, the Quick Stop Jay & Silent Bob hang out in front of is very much real). It’s a little bit vulgar (but I like it that way). It’s never running out of photoshoot locations. And no, I can’t forget the shore (Nobody in New Jersey calls it “a beach”, it’s always “the shore”).

No matter what my current zip code may be, it will always be home.

And this is how I personally channel the state of New Jersey through my wardrobe. Your mileage might vary.

• Anything slightly too loud, just a tad excessive and “a little too much” (i.e.: stripper approved footwear, corsets)
• Big hair is essentially an institution in the state of New Jersey.
• Leopard print should be worn often and liberally.
• Heavily made up eyes are not merely accepted nor encouraged, they’re required by law.
• Das Bunker Cap Sleeve Top in the black/gunmetal colorway. . We’ve got a pretty decent industrial scene in NJ. Represent in hot rivet girl wear.
• A clear absence of anything beginning with “Ed” and ending with “Hardy”.
• Fishnets.Once the whole fucking world thinks you’re trashy, you might as well own the cliché and make it your bitch.

Credits

Photography:Andrew Ellis Photography

Model:Vanity Kills

Location(s): New Jersey…duh

<3

Vanity Kills

[Show as slideshow]

THE WOMAN IS A ROCK-N-ROLL OUTLAW

This month I bring you greatness! (What’s new?) I will describe this greatness in two words.

PENELOPE SPHEERIS.

Referred to as a rock-n-roll anthopologist, she is a heroine to art.

Penelope Spheeris has created some of the most entertaining and informative documentaries on underground music culture as well as character driven movies based on raw emotion, reality, and captivating story lines that you couldn’t break away from unless a truck crashed though your house and destroyed your t.v… I’m not kidding.

Her feature debut was the 1979 documentary on the L.A. punk scene, “The Decline Of Western Civilization.” It received stunning and unanimous critical praise while the LAPD shut down Hollywood Boulevard and Chief of Police, Daryl Gates wrote a letter demanding the film not to be shown again in L.A. Opps. From there Penelope took off with her brilliance and whipped up some of the wickedest docs, indies, and major studio features you will ever lay your eyes and ears on. Not to mention that she’s made some of the funniest flicks you have in your collection. Such as:

Studio Features: Wayne’s World, Beverly Hillbillies, Little Rascals, Black Sheep, and Senseless

Documentaries: The Decline Of Western Civilization (1 thru 3), Ry Cooder, The Impressions, Banned in the U.S.A: 2 Live Crew, Heavy Metal Thunder and Mud, Lifer’s Group, No Use Walkin’ When You Can Stroll, and We Sold Our Souls For Rock-n-Roll. (If you love rock-n-roll and haven’t watched any of these yet.. Run! They are a must see! Go!)

Indies: Suburbia (I use to watch this movie every day for years.), Boys Next Door, Hollywood Vice Squad, Dudes, The Kid and I

I’m not even including all the short films and syndicated television she’s done. Among the movie mayhem, check out the music vid creds she has slayed for the likes of: Megadeth, Foghat, Gary Wright, Keel, George Benson, David Essex, America, Will Sexton, Queen, Curtis Mayfield, Night Ranger, Funkadelics, Staple Singers, Fleetwood Mac and Alice Cooper!!!!!!!!!

She’s produced shorts for Saturday Night Live and wrote for the t.v. series Roseanne (AWESOME!) from 88-97.

This still does not even graze the surface of this woman’s work.

With her new movie “Balls To The Wall” ready to be unleashed, I thought it was time to touch base with her on a few things we both have a passion for. Movies and music. Getting the opportunity to talk with Penelope truly made my day.

C.C. You worked as a film editor and a cinematographer before forming “Rock ‘n Reel” back in the day. Are you responsible for the first L.A. production company to specialize in what became know as the “music video”?

When I graduated from UCLA I worked as an assistant film editor on small educational and industrial films.  My boss was so mean – I remember the day he made me work even thought I had the flu.  I had an armful of film and as we were going up in an elevator,  I barfed all over it and he was so pissed.  Soon after I got a call from my friend who worked at CBS records, Peter Philbin.  He asked if I wanted to shoot a music video.  He said the record companies had just figured out that if they filmed a band’s song, they could just send the film all over the world instead of the band.  No airfares, no TV’s off the balcony, heh, what an idea.  I started what I believed to be the first music video company here in L.A.  It was called Rock ‘n Reel.  I flew all over the world and learned so much while shooting all those bands.  My technical skills became totally sharpened, my view of the world totally changed, and I realized I wanted to spend my life putting music and film together.  So far, so good.

C.C. Documenting such strong features as “The Decline” films you showed the reality of a culture and an underbelly of intense lifestyles. Seeing the exposed bone in such a way, did this make you stray away from the offer to direct the “mockumentary” This Is Spinal Tap?

I was in talks with Chris Guest, Harry Shearer and a guy named David Jablin about me directing Spinal Tap.  I loved the music and musicians so much that I could not wrap my head around making fun of them at that time.  When they turned to Rob Reiner, I thought ‘That’s an odd choice.  What the hell does he know about music?”  But that is exactly what they needed to make it work – an outside perspective.  Do I regret not doing it?  Not in the least.  Rob and the boys obviously did a brilliant job.  They were meant to do it, not me.

C.C. My opinion on most of the new music nowadays is it’s no where near as interesting enough to have a documentary made about it, unless it’s the under ground stuff. I don’t see the characters or hear the songs anymore that use to influence me to do what I do now. How are your feelings on the current state of rock-n-roll?

For the most part, R + R has become diluted and morphed into such a mish-mash of styles that it has no style, no character or hard-edged definition.  Rock n’ roll was always best when it broke the rules and challenged mainstream thinking.  Maybe all the rules have been broken, but in any case it sure ain’t what it used to be.  Glad I was around when it was in its glory.

C.C.  I admire how you have a hard as hell edge to you and also an unbelievably comical side as well. Let’s talk about your new comedy film ‘Balls To The Wall.’ I’m going to pee myself with laughter, aren’t I?

We screened it at the Newport Beach Film Festival lately and it was through the roof!  There were more laughs in that screening than any Wayne’s World screening,  Who knows, it was Saturday night, maybe they were all drunk – but I don’t think so.  It’s about a guy who wants to get married (to Jenna Dewan – who wouldn’t?) – they can’t afford the wedding – so his future father-in-law (Shooter McGavin) puts him to work as a male exotic dancer.  As with all  of my movies, it’s taking a while for it to be ‘accepted’.  Distributors are scared of it, but so were they with The Decline, Suburbia, Boys Next Door, We Sold Our Souls for Rock ‘n Roll, etc.  Those have stood the test of time and so will Balls to the Wall.  It’s always difficult getting through the wall of mediocrity, but thaz cool.  I can wait.

C.C.  Penelope, you write, act, direct, edit, produce and probably have discovered time travel. With of all your talents and knowledge of rock-n-roll, why haven’t you ever wrote any music? Or have you and I’m out of the loop? Where’s “The Penelope Spheeris Band?” I want the vinyl record.

You’re too kind!  In the late Sixties, record producer extraordinaire Jack Nietsche sat me and my brother Jimmie down at a piano and said “Sing Ruby Tuesday”.  We did, but I realized how incredibly shy I am to perform in front of people.  My brother Jimmie, who was brilliant, went on to do a bunch of albums on Sony and Epic Records.  I think I stayed off camera on the docs because of my shyness.  My voice is there though!

C.C.  I have to ask. Top 5 bands you are listening to right now?

Love Skinny Puppy.  The Resistance (local L.A.)  Paquita la del Barrio (awesome older Mexican singer – love love love her), Girlschool, Genitorturers.

C.C. As a huge fan of everything you’ve done and are doing, you are still an inspiration to me in so many ways through out my life and career. My last question (or proposal) for you is this: I will mow your lawn, take out the trash and wash all your dishes for a year if I can get you to direct a video for The Last Vegas. Deal? ;)

Did we use one of your songs in Balls to the Wall?

If you haven’t checked out anything by Penelope yet, you are missing out in life! I recommend you do so immediately. And check out her new movie “Balls to the Wall”. You’ll love it. Not only cuz it’s gonna be fuckin’ hilarious but The Last Vegas have a song in it as well. I’m into that. So get cool and dig into Penelope’s work ya creeps!!!!
www.penelopespheeres.com

Naked under Lip-Service.
-Chad Cherry
www.thelastvegas.com

It’s apt that I write a Global Gothic column for Lip Service, since La Carmina is always travelling. I’m always moving in and out of rooms.

Some people consider temporary accommodations to be poor substitutes for home-sweet-home. I disagree. In Hong Kong, my Roomorama short term apartment immediately filled with warm memories. Such as:

1) Laughing at cheesy pop groups on MTV Asia.
2) Watching horror DVDs late at night — and squirming in fright.
3) Putting away treasures from Mongkok shopping trips in the clever storage space.
4) Drinking bubbly while overlooking the harbor view.

I’m excited to share the Goth fashion and culture I discovered in Hong Kong and Macau. Photos and stories to come next month, as well as on my blog!

I recently joined Lookbook, and realized that many of my favorite outfits (and memories) are tied to my travels. Such as this Seattle library photoshoot, from my trip to the Aural Vampire / Black Veil Brides / Dommin / Birthday Massacre concert. (More photos)

In front of Seattle’s famous bubblegum wall, before the DespairsRay show. I’m wearing a Lip Service steampunk skirt from the Step In Time collection. (More photos)

While in Los Angeles, I did a Blablahospital modeling shoot in the Hollywood Hills batcaves. (More photos)

Harajuku, Tokyo is where my heart is. I wore Baby, the Stars Shine Bright for the Dutch Pepsi filming. (More photos)

This is one of the outfits I wore on the set of NHK’s New York Wave — they filmed a TV documentary about my work in cute cooking. (More photos and info about my book, Cute Yummy Time)

But home is where your cat is! Basil Farrow loves to pose for photos in Vancouver. (More cuteness on his Scottish Fold blog.)

PS: Thank you to fellow Lip Service blogger, Steff Metal, for interviewing me about entrepreneurship for Grymm and Epic.

Got any questions about travel, or the outfits pictured? Email or Tweet me, and I’ll be sure to answer. Or let’s be friends on Facebook?

** Click to add La Carmina on Facebook, or push the button below.

XXX LA CARMINA XXX
http://www.lacarmina.com/

June’s featured denizen of the Dark is none other than Cristofer Sanders! He is an accomplished actor, television producer and the very picture of Gemini versatility. “I am certainly an eclectic, gregarious spirit,” says Cristofer, “with a wide variety of interests and inclinations. The Gemini stereotype of having multiple personalities is an accurate one, although I attribute that more to being multi-dimensional rather than bi-polar. Geminis are able to access and identify with a whole spectrum of personality, ideas, and outlooks and that often comes across as baffling and insincere to more grounded individuals, which can be a source of frustration for Geminis because we feel that all our sides and demeanors are genuine.”

When I asked which of the stereotypes did not apply to him, Cristopher said, “Geminis are often depicted as flaky and dishonest and, personally, I pride myself on being reliable, loyal, punctual, and a man of my word. This is not to say that I don’t sometimes find myself pulled in many different directions, but I can be relied upon to be a superb multi-tasker and maintain my commitments.”

One might find this Mercurial man rocketing about the Los Angeles Goth/Industrial scene in impeccably stylish and theatrical attire. “I was raised with both the values and sensibilities of a Southern Gentleman and a whacky Austin bohemian,” he explains, “with a penchant for the macabre, and I maintain an assortment of stylish and vintage ties, jackets, fancy outfits, and costumes in my wardrobe. I tend to lean towards the darker and richer color tones, and my favorite item of clothing is a jacket that has pentagrams on the buttons. which was once the uniform for a Japanese schoolboy.”

Cristofer embodies the dynamic and perpetually transformative nature of our beloved subculture with his enthusiasm, curiosity and wit. Happy birthday, Good Sir!

And now, your ‘Scopes.

Aries

June’s rapid succession of big changes will keep you pleasantly occupied while the rest of the world races to keep up. You are just naturally more equipped to deal with sudden growth and upheaval than other people. The best thing you can do for yourself this month is clarify, reiterate and even repeat all communications. With close friends and lovers in particular, you can steer your life around some big, gaping potholes if you would begin most of your conversations with, “Hey, I know you’ve already heard this but …” They won’t admit it but, no they didn’t hear you the first time.

Taurus

Jupiter enters your sign on June 4th, encouraging growth, expansion and generosity. On the downside, he also encourages sloth and gluttony. Sneak a workout or two into your hedonistic schedule so you can still fit into your party pants, come July. You’ll be craving more intellectual stimulation after the 9th when Venus, your ruling planet enters the cerebral terrain of Gemini. By the 19th, crucial conversations will be held regarding your relationship needs and boundaries. Just be honest. You’ll never get what you really want if you don’t have the balls to ask for it.

Gemini

Happy Birthday! For our first present, June is going to suck considerably less than last month did. Secondly, it will be so fast-paced and full of shiny, new information that even you, with your miniscule attention span, will remain constantly entertained. The new moon at the top of the month is amplified by an eclipse and it all happens right in your very own sign. New rules work in your favor when they go into effect around the 12th. By the 19th, you’ll have enough distance from the whole situation to really see the big picture and maybe even make sense of it. It’s all about perspective.

Cancer

June begins rather pleasantly for you, especially in the professional and financial arena. Your natural talent for pulling answers out of thin air will be amplified in the later part of the month. Write down your dreams and take your hunches seriously. Instinct may have to temporarily replace your usual sources of information. Don’t rely too heavily on the logical, rational mind or there will be a pervasive sense of disorientation throughout most of June. The third eclipse in a single month happens in your sign on the night of the 30th/morning of July 1st. That’s when you’re most likely to embody the moody Cancer stereotype.
　
　

Leo

Petty drama buzzes around your luxurious mane in the first two weeks of June, threatening to annoy you just enough to risk becoming disheveled. Stay composed and graceful; it’s not worth your attention. If you can hold out through the 20th, some very positive feedback from the ‘Verse reconfirms the value of your aversion to bullshit. A peaceful, easy feeling gently descends over the latter half of the month. Your focus shifts to family and home life as your ruler moves out of chatty Gemini and into cushy Cancer. If the aforementioned irritations don’t happen to live with you, you’re golden.

Virgo

Another boost to the old bank account is coming right up! Jupiter moves into Taurus, forming a helpful trine to Virgo that will last all the way through the end of this year. You’re welcome. In other news, it would be helpful for you to run a diagnostic on your relationship history. Find out what your patterns are and – if it turns out that they suck – make an effort to re-route your energy. This month brings friction with friends and lovers, both past and present. At first, they’re just talks. After the 20th, they get kind of aggro. But, it’s a fight with a purpose. If you don’t wuss out, you could learn a lot.
　

Libra

There is no way you are getting out of June unchanged. Out of every sign in the Zodiac, yours is the one that gets hit the hardest when Saturn stations direct in Libra on the 12th. It’s squared by Pluto, opposed by Uranus and the sun gets in on this action with another square by the end of the month. Imagine the most ruthless teacher you ever had in school singling you out and making an example of you. It’s like that. You can’t beat him so, you might as well join him. What kind of example do you want to be? For what higher cause would you do a semester’s worth of detentions? Hell, some crimes are totally worth it.
　

Scorpio

You’ll consider yourself pretty lucky, this month, as people around you are freaking the fuck out, your life seems peaceful by comparison. Of course, given your customary paranoia, you’re not likely to let your guard down, in any case. New and potentially valuable information comes to you through friends in low places and by the time the full moon hits on June 15th, it may very well affect your bottom line. It might not be a bad idea to cut a business deal with a Virgo. They seem to be having a good money month, too. But, then you’d have to trust somebody.
　

Sagittarius

The full moon lands in your sign, this month and it’s turbo charged with some crazy eclipse action. Your independence is going to be tested as friends, partners and colleagues run out of resources to share and leave you entirely to your own devices. Have a plan B ready to go so that their drought doesn’t have to mean your disaster. You’ll feel a natural inclination to slow down and cultivate some Zen in your life as your ruler, Jupiter shifts out of Aries and into Taurus. Depending on how many people wind up flaking on you, you might need all the Om you can get.

Capricorn

Tensions are running high as you get ready to receive some final answers to long standing questions in your life. From the 11th to the 21st there will be a series of figurative earthquakes that do everything but leave you alone. You are well-equipped to make the most out of June’s newly sharpened edges and hard lines. While others are struggling against this upheaval in reality, you are surveying the terrain and devising a flawless, new plan of action. Chances are, you probably knew this was coming, all along. Buddy-up with some Aquarians. They can relate.

Aquarius

Truth. It’s what you’re all about, right? So, when the seemingly disparate pieces of June’s puzzle begin to coalesce and reveal a brand-new Big Picture, you would be wise to spend some time actually looking at it. Later, there will be plenty of time to re-invent it if you still insist on doing so. The 17th through the 19th will be … fucking insane. There’s really no other way to put that. The 26th will serve up a nice little shock, as well. Good thing you’re crazy enough to roll with all of these punches. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be an Aquarian, this month. Oh … wait … shit.

Pisces

Your living situation is a subject of discussion, throughout June. You’ll be compelled to re-assess the resources you have at your personal, individual disposal and the ones you have been sharing with others. Your usual philosophy of “peace, love and lollipops for all” may give way to “get your own damn lollipops.” Oh, and you’ll get this weird sense of maturity and pragmatism, too.
It’s temporary. You’ll be your compassionate, altruistic self again by mid-summer. In the meantime, you can see what it’s like to actually have appropriate boundaries! Whoa.

About Forest

Forest is a generational witch living in Los Angeles. She is available by appointment for personal astrology and tarot readings by visiting her website: NuiCobalt.com