Section: On the Road with Stretch Fuck'n Jeans

Party Boogers from Sean Burns and the Bone Deth crew, what’s shakin lip servers..

This tour is entitled “Bone Deth Gypsy Tour” … not your regular pack of weirdos, more so a handicapped van full of dirty bike slingers trying to compact as much riding as possible in seven days around New England during the most microwaveable week of the summer. The team consisted of myself, Shajn Ferbert Raines, Kevin Botsch, Karter, Chris Crawford, Brian Histand, Taffy, Dean Burrito, and the photographer Jeff Allen. The trip was slime based. You can’t tell in any of the photos because we don’t want to give away the Dig Magazine article, but we brought containers and buckets of Nickelodeon-style gack to slime babes and bums along the way. The hot stink of riding BMX in the New England humidity, combined with a van full of melting slime is not the slightest bit easy on breathing. We spent a lot of time in New England so, fortunately, there wasn’t much driving involved.

We started in Stamford, CT. Not a whole lot of good living is happening in this city, a dead zone of memo pad business parks and Motts Applesauce headquarters. Although, for BMX, the dead zone is good for getting things done and firing out cocoa bango stunts. Brian killed it with a full speed leap over a laundromat building.

We ventured up to Springfield, MA, which is another Dead Bite city of slow brained beings. It was, by far, the hottest day of the trip, feeling like microwaveable diapers had landed on the van. This city had the slowest feel, but another provider for rad spots and bust-free places to ride. We spent the night in a spider-infested basement, all waking up to multiple bumpies and scratchies on our skin. Curse those damn flesh eaters!

The following day we rode Holyoke, MA, which felt like a zombie town. Everyone there had to be on some type of hallucinogen – in my mind at least. Almost every person stared us down like they’d been on a deserted island for months and we were bacon sizzling on a frying pan. Licking their lips, sniffing the air, and heavily panting as they walked towards us.

After we left the bacon zombie town, we rushed straight out to Boston to meet some friends and get some more filming done for the tour video. It was weird being on a tour yet being at home, but made for best ’cause we got some sweet slime footage for the intro. Initially we were supposed to be going to designated spots, like a few skateparks and trails, to meet up with other teams and do demos and crap, but we kind of ignored that and just slimed some babes.

Although we did make it to the last stop of the tour at the skatepark in New Haven, CT. All the other teams we met up with looked like they’d just trekked out of the amazon river for 2 months, and we just looked regular, except for the fact our van stunk of slime buckets. The tour DVD will be available in a month or so, keep up on bone deth (www.bonedethbmx.com) for updates.

Thanks to Lip Service for the sweet jeans, keep on keepin’ on and stay solid gold, 2 million dollars.
- sean burns

Marti Rubels here,

guitarist / screamer/ resident Modern Day Escape douchebag

On the Road with LIP SERVICE’S Stretch Fuck’n Jeans

&

HOT TOPIC PRESENTS: The Sacred Ceremony tour

WEEK 1

First off, can we say kickin’ off the tour with sold out CA shows? Fuck yes!

Secondly, can we say Modern Day Escape’s RV breaks down in the desert? DAMN IT!

Sorry to all our friends and fans in Albuquerque, NM and Dallas, TX. We promise we’ll make it there soon…

Tonight, as I type this, we are heading to San Antonio, TX @ The White Rabbit to melt some faces with Black Veil Brides, Vampires Everywhere, Get Scared and who? Wait hold up, Modern Day GENTLEMEN? I smell drama.

It seems that the band playing directly before us is called Modern Day Gentlemen tonight.

Now, I know what you’re thinking “OH SNAP! BAND NAME / CRIPPLE FIGHT!?”

No, no, no my friends. For that is a hater’s mentality, and the world has enough of that. I propose a truce…

Modern Day Escape, we’ll  change our name to Modern Day Gentlewomen, IF:

MODERN DAY Gentleman, joins MODERN DAY Gentlewomen in holy union,

under the church of LATTER DAY Saints.

In honor of the Sacred Ceremony Tour of course.

So people, I propose to you vote yes on bill #69, Same Sex Band Marriage for Heterosexual Life Partners.

Come out to a show for your ballot!

See you next week.

HOT TOPIC PRESENTS:

The Sacred Ceremony Tour

Black Veil Brides

Vampires Everywhere

Modern Day Escape

Get Scared

TOUR DATES

7/2 – San Diego, CA    @Epicenter

7/3 – Anaheim, CA    @Chain Reaction

7/5 – Mesa, AZ        @The Underground

7/6 – Albuquerque, NM    @The Launchpad

7/7 – Ft. Worth, TX    @Ridglea Theatre

7/8 – San Antonio, TX    @White Rabbit

7/9 – Houston, TX    @The Junction

7/10- New Orleans, LA    @High Ground

7/11- Jacksonville, FL    @The Pit

7/12- Tampa, FL        @Transitions

7/13- Atlanta, GA    @The Masquerade

7/15= Springfield, VA    @Jaxx

7/16- Poughkeepsie, NY    @The Chance

7/17- Allentown, PA    @Crocodile Rock Cafe

7/18- Vineland, NJ    @Hangar 84

7/19- Worcester, MA    @The Paladium

7/20- Montreal, QC    @Underworld

7/21- Toronto, ON    @Sneaky Dees

7/22- Buffalo, NY    @Xtreme Wheels

7/23- Detroit, MI    @I-Rock Night Club

7/24- Cleveland, OH    @Peabody’s

7/25- Pittsburgh, PA    @Club Octane

7/26- Covington, KY    @The Mad Hatter

7/27- Chicago, IL    @Fiesta

7/28- Dayton, OH    @The Attic

7/29- Sauget, IL    @Pops

7/30- Milwaukee, WI    @The Rave

7/31- Des Moines, IA    @House of Bricks

8/1 – Tulsa, OK        @The Marquee

8/3 – Denver, CO    @Marquis Theatre

8/4-Colorado Springs,CO @Black Sheep

8/5- Salt Lake City, UT @In The Venue

8/6- Boise, ID        @The Venue

8/7- Seattle, WA    @El Corazon

8/8- Portland, OR    @Hawthorne Theatre

8/10- Modesto, CA  @Modesto Virtual

8/11- Sacramento, CA    @The Boardwalk

8/12- Fresno, CA    @Club Retro

8/13- Las Vegas, NV    @Area 702

8/14- Lancaster, CA    @Cedar Center

8/15- Los Angeles, CA    @The Whisky

Our last update left us in the beautiful, green foggy heart of the Pacific Northwest! We had our fair share of coffee and great crowds. Our routing was a little crazy, so our first show back in the states from Vancouver was Portland. The crowd was steamy and the show was a good straightforward rock punch. One strange guy came up and groped my leg for the second night in a row and I had to remind him that it was Portland (strip club central) but he was at a rock show. I also got my first beer of the tour thrown at me, which made the show even more intense and kick ass. Overall, the crowd was super sweet and sang along to a bunch of the old songs, which is always nice.

After Buzzcocks’ set we headed to the famous Voodoo Doughnut next door. We got a voodoo dozen and I had a huge chocolaty peanut buttery vegan delight! Luis got one that looked like The Simpsons’ pink donut and tasted like bubble gum, complete with a piece of bubble gum attached. We ended up leaving a bunch of the donuts on Buzzcocks’ bus and they were gone by the next day.

After Portland we headed back up to Seattle backtrack-style. We played at El Corazon, one of our favorite usual tour stops and then had the next night off to get to Oakland. Lucky for us our hotel was on Fun Center Drive next to a go-cart track and batting cages. Probably freaks out some families when a rock band shows up, but you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. Nights off can be dangerous… this time I even considered getting a lower back tattoo!

Finally back in California and the Oakland show started feeling like we were getting closer to home, with lots of good friends showing up and helping us drink our beer. Our dressing room was more of a disco than a place to get dressed. But even that was just a taste of what LA was going to be like. As much as it is good to play for the hometown fans and see friends, LA is always a crazy hard night. The shows are great but the before and after are super intense! There’s always so much catching-up to do with friends and our business peeps. And then there’s the thought that if I wanted to just run out the door I could be in my bed in a few minutes!

Club Nokia was the biggest venue of the tour and the energy was just as huge. Buzzcocks killed it as usual and we had a nice little party on their bus after the venue shut down, followed by an after-after party at my place. All I really remember is watching Smurfs at 5am with the sun about to come up. So LA was amazing and my bed was bitter sweet. I think it might be easier to stay in a hotel next time we hit LA mid-tour; maybe I’ll get more sleep. We woke-up in our little homes and then headed to Anaheim the next night. After getting through the crazy Disney security (which was almost more hardcore than Canadian immigration) we headed to the House Of Blues. AWESOME venue, except when you slip on pickle juice in the elevator:

Last night brought us to San Diego. We saw the “Naked Gun” boob-shaped nuclear towers on our way and I wore my captain’s hat for the show. The crowd was SO MUCH FUN! Tons of singing along and dancing… it did not look like a Monday. That’s for sure!

Just hit a Chinese Buffet and are ready for the beautiful Saguaro cacti and blue skies along our drive today across the desert toward Texas.

Only a week left of this tour then a couple weeks and we’re out again! Thanks to Lip Service for our bad ass wardrobe and thanks to you guys for reading! We’re easy to keep in touch with and will have lots more stories to share as things get going with our new record coming out on Joan Jett’s Backheart Records in August. We’ll be around the US a few more times this year and are hitting the UK in October. Come say “HIHIHI!”
xo kelly and Luis Dollyrot

Come internet with us!
dollyrots.com
twitter.com/kellydollyrottwitter.com/kellydollyrot
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myspace.com/thedollyrots

This week we’re reporting from our cold white neighbor, Canada. Yes, it is still cold and white (in parts) in May! Sure wish we had checked the forecast before embarking on tour. I mean, it’s May everywhere! Who needs a coat?

After a beautiful, sweaty, fun late night in Minneapolis, we headed to the border and Winnipeg. The city was green and the crowd was sweet. They were a little shy at first but nothing we can’t solve with some loud punk rock. After Winnipeg we headed up to Edmonton and realized we missed The Vibrators gig by a day…boo! The venue (New City Compound) was one of the coolest ever. The staff was super nice, the nachos were delicious and there was even a late night dance party upstairs with GOOD music. We danced really hard…the kind of sweaty rock n’ roll dancing that makes you feel ALIVE.

Calgary was the next stop on our route and we hit a really crazy snowstorm along the way. The show was packed and the crowd was so alive and ready. Luis spent most of the time after our set with a pack of really awesome and cute lesbians who deemed him the perfect guy and then proceeded to fight over who could take him home. He was stoked. We drove a little out of town that night before stopping at an adorable hotel with fireplaces. There was a day off the next day to get to Vancouver and we were ready for one of the most beautiful drives in North America. Just imagine enormous mountains, crystal clear green/blue water, waterfalls, and little villages that look like Disney sets. We would like to post a hundred pics here but will keep it to a few:

Snowy gloomy day!

Surprise! Woke up in the mountains!

Quito and one of two bears we saw along the road! (It’s the black spec just to the right of center)

Last night we were in Vancouver! One of the coolest, most beautiful cities ever! We always say we could move there, but I think we’ll need to visit in the winter sometime; however, summer is amazing! Luis’ parents flew in from Florida for a little vacation and the show. We went to the famous Stanley Park for a wilderness adventure and saw starfish, crabs, an owl, raccoons, and little duck families! After a day in the park Luis’ family’s original plan was to watch a few Buzzcocks songs and call it a night, but they loved Buzzcocks and stayed for the whole show and after-party! Luis’ mom (all 5ft -100lbs of her) really wanted to watch from the front and got to experience her first mosh pit. Luckily the Vancouver pit was a happy pogoing kind of pit.

We didn’t see any nutria but we did see these weird gnomes…

Best Hair Award for Vancouver

Just crossed into the border and heading to Portland! More from the West Coast next week, including our hometown Los Angeles!
xoxox!
Kelly, Luis and our road worn jeans!

Greetings from the road with The Dollyrots and their rad jeans, both progressively getting dirtier and traveling throughout North America with Buzzcocks! We left you last week at the very start of our French Canadian adventure. The past seven days were amazing and included the first leg of Canadian dates on the tour in both Montreal and Toronto. Got across the border and had the van searched but the only thing found of note was a creepy bunny head mask and some whisky. The whisky wasn’t a problem and was consumed that night in Montreal. Montreal’s a cool city with lots of French-speakers and after-show late night restaurants serving Poutine, which everyone should try at least once in their life and consists of french fries covered in whatever goodness you can imagine. After a moxie filled show, during which Kelly attempted to speak to the crowd in French, we drank some “rocket fuel” (what Buzzcocks call champagne) and headed out in search of a place that offered vegan poutine. We were so excited we forgot to take a photo so here’s someone else’s poutine. Artery clogging but absolutely delicious. Here’s the place to go!
Montreal Rock!

Followed by poutine!

After Montreal we hit Toronto, which felt like a pretty normal big city, maybe a little NYC style. The show was HUGE and we got to meet some long-time Dollyrots fans in person finally! After rocking Toronto we got up early in the morning, hit Tim Hortons (kind of like Canada’s version of Dunkin Donuts), and drove to Niagara Falls before the U.S. Border Crossing! It was huge, damp, beautiful and full of lots of international tourists. It’s common knowledge that the Canadian side of the Falls is more impressive, and from what we saw that totally seems like the case. Basically, the Canadian side gets an incredible view of misty, enormous cascades of water while the U.S. side gets a sideways view of the Falls and direct view of an eyesore-inducing Vegas-style Marriot. Our jeans absorbed some sweet Niagara mist and we continued on into the U.S., where Cleveland met us with open arms. Cleveland rocks, period. Although there’s a heat wave tearing through the Midwest right now and that definitely had it’s effects on things. I swear the Cleveland, Detroit, and Chicago shows ranked in Top 5 in terms of sweatiest Dollyrots shows ever.

Luis and Fuzzy our merch girl at Niagara Falls!

We’ve never played Detroit before and St. Andrew’s Hall is an amazing old venue that used to be a giant cathedral and retains a creepily awesome energy. We probably lost 10 pounds of water weight because St Andrew’s doesn’t have A/C. It was a warm one and so far, sorry Boston, it was the BEST crowd yet! Kelly filmed a lot of the Buzzcocks set from the pit which was a damp and happy mass of humanity. We had to load out across a busy street at the end of the night, and a cool older guy named Papa Smurf appeared out of nowhere, gave us magic beads, and stopped traffic to let us across with our amps. He mentioned some bands we knew and we’ve since confirmed they all have magic beads from him too.

Chris and Papa Smurf

Chicago was super intense, with a sold-out room at the Double Door resulting in stage temperatures that made us soak through our jeans. Literally felt like I had jumped into a lake (actually, jumping into a lake afterwards would’ve been pretty awesome, but I digress). Rocked the white pants only reserved for special shows and moved on to Minneapolis, the only city we name-drop on the new album and a place we love dearly. The city is home to the coolest, crusty, courier-style stinky punks and we really dig it. We were met with open arms by good friends and given leftover bottles of wine at the end of the night by Buzzcocks after they decided they were sticking with champagne. After a week like this I’m not sure how but we did it again. It was an amazing rock show. Sometimes I think I’m just going to be too tired to do it but one it’s time it always happens. That’s what makes rock n roll so addictive. I don’t think we can live without it.

On our way to Canada for the second leg now! Far enough north in North Dakota that at 10pm so sun still isn’t down. We have tonight off and will miss the rock but our bodies can really use a break. Until next week…. signing off with freshly washed jeans!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
kelly ogden
singing bass dollyrot

www.dollyrots.com
twitter.com/kellydollyrot
myspace.com/thedollyrots

or if you’re old fashioned or want to send me a postcard or treats…
The Dollyrots
636 Broadway, Ste. 1210
NY, NY 10012
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We, The Dollyrots, and our pants have been on the road for a good long 2 weeks. This is usually a good marker on tour. You realize you might have to wash (GASP!) your precious jeans, didn’t bring enough socks, and have no idea what day of the week it might be or, for that matter, whether it’s 2010 or 2007 or 1994. For our time with you, Luis and I will tag team entries as we remember them. We’re aware a lot of people do it in a kind of diary style but to be honest… we don’t really have days, just chunks. I think it will be more fun if we give a little story here and there because, believe it or not, some days are just like the last.

We’re on a tour of North America with Buzzcocks. Yeah. Crazy. We thought our booking agent was setting up an elaborate April Fool’s joke when she called March 31st to ask if we’d like to do the tour. But then… it actually happened and it rules. They are exactly as I hoped they’d be when I was screaming along to “16 Again” as a 16 year old in a little cow town in Florida. We’ve been lucky enough and done this long enough (10 years) to find ourselves playing in the midst of the people who inspired us to start a band. And it will never get old. (WOW we just pulled into a weird Raytheon lot and had to convince security we just wanted to turn around, what is Raytheon? Military Industrial Complex-Seeming?).

New York was the most eventful night so far. There was a bomb scare and for about 20 minutes of Buzzcocks set we thought we might actually have to play to fill time so no one would leave the building. We didn’t end up playing, but that wasn’t the end of the excitement. After Buzzcocks’ set they let everyone leave the building through the back door. Problem was, we were parked right in front of the venue. I could see Quito’s (our road dog) head in the passenger seat wondering what the commotion was about but we were not allowed out the front door. The “bomb scare” car was only a few yards from us. Here’s the New York Post story… read and enjoy. Not all nights are that exciting but almost.

Here are some random pics… wish we were writing you a book, but next week… Canada! If we get across the border that is…

Pretty girl… Photo by: Rock and Roll and Meandering Nonsense

Nice Pants! Photo by: Kailey Tucker

BUZZCOCKS!

And a new thimble for Kelly’s Collection!

We moved on to Boston afterwards, played a sold out show for some of the most amazing people you can possibly meet, watched an amazing set by Buzzcocks, and tried to get 3 hrs of sleep in advance of crawling across the Canadian border the next day. We’re currently bumping along the road on the way to Montreal, passports in hand, ready to show we’re not completely bats to random folks that may search our van only to find a Bunny suit complete with Creepy Bunny Head.

This bunny head! Photo by: Kailey Tucker

Signing off for today, The Dollyrots and their jeans!
xo!

Monday

The cure for the common Monday is always and ever will be Ground Control Karaoke. You have never experienced warm fuzzies until you have had the pleasure of MP3J Sark’s company. He and his minions, Jonni, Coleman and Eric Schreeck, host a night that has the unique ability to take your workday, filter out every last bit of suck and replace it with pure, unadulterated awesome. Those who fear the karaoke will find this crowd enthusiastic, supportive and unabashedly silly. After a while (and perhaps a few cocktails) the urge to rock out on the mike will become undeniable. You may even find yourself accompanied by a occasional full-on, rock and roll air band. Still scared? Then you can just watch us having fun from the comfort of your home, at:
groundcontrol.com, you wuss.

Tuesday

My day job is certainly … different. Astrology is such a misunderstood language. But, it’s one of the most efficient and effective ways I’ve ever encountered for plumbing the depths of the human heart and mind. To me, it’s not just a way to keep a roof over my head; it’s a practice about which I feel passionately and to which I am deeply committed. And yeah … it’s fun. I work at the Psychic Eye Bookstore, in Sherman Oaks. The readers and staff are all fabulously eccentric, or else I couldn‘t be here. I successfully convinced my coworker, Jordan to refrain from stealing the Stretch Fuck’n Jeans right off of me but, not without a fight. He has excellent taste.

Wednesday

Kitty Brown is an up-and-coming, young artist who is taking the city by storm. She graduated not even six months ago and already is earning her living entirely by selling her inspired, innovative paintings. Recently, she won my online contest for “Best survival strategy during a Mercury Retrograde.” Now, Kitty knows a great many things, as well as how to navigate an awkward planetary transit and her strategy was the best one out of all the great responses I received. Her prize was a personalized, hand-crafted magical talisman made by me. On Wednesday, we met up for lunch in Silverlake. I presented her with a one-of-a-kind Taurean talisman to help her with some pressing and immediate concerns in her life. Here’s the spooky part: within 24 hours, she was offered 3 prospective (and paying!) art assignments and she found a fabulous new place to live. What can I say … I’m good at this stuff.

Thursday

Moodorgan’s new video is coming very close to completion. Peter has been at it non-stop since last week’s fete diabolique! The images he makes are nothing short of spellbinding. He weaves a starkly futuristic landscape with baroque sensibilities. One might begin to find one’s self slipping helplessly into the dusky universe he carves around the penetrating lyrics and aural grandeur of “Remember the Truth.” There will very likely be a release event in the summertime. Not a bad way to celebrate the Solstice, eh?

Friday

Stopped by the Electric Lotus, in Los Feliz, to see my good friend and bandmate, Todd. He sings lead and I sing backup in Catalog: a dark futurepop ensemble that also features Peter on keyboards and Scott on drums. Todd is not only the most charismatic frontman you’ve ever seen, he also slings the tastiest martini’s on the West Coast. Do you recognize the jacket I’m wearing in our band photo? Classic Lip Service!

Saturday

Another fabulous night on the go-go box, at Ruin. I was fairly certain that DJ Xian was going to render me completely unconscious as she induced one dance-gasm after the next. There just wasn’t a bad song all night. The
LADead forums lit up in the wee hours of the morning with all kinds of lascivious comments from the patrons who had been in attendance. It might have been the lusty effects of a Mars aspect to Venus, that night … or it might simply have been Xian’s mad skills. I vote for the latter.

Sunday

But, the sexiest night in Hollywood was unquestionably Sunday night at Malediction Society! It was DJ Amanda Jones’ birthday and the greater population of LA’s Goth/Industrial scene was out in full force. Die-hard freaks from the far reaches of the Southland gathered to celebrate the life and work of a true cornerstone of dark subculture. The Birthday Girl, herself, was dressed to rival the refinement of Audrey Hepburn; although she claims to have been going for the “extra-hoochie” look. (She’s not foolin’ me.) Tearing up the dance floor as only she can, Amanda stole the hearts of every fortunate man in the room as she moved oh-so-slinkily between my very lucky self and the ultra-fabulous Mishy. Late in the evening, in keeping with tradition, DJ Xian pulled out Combichrist’s “Happy Fucking Birthday.” It’s always a glorious thing to watch the denizens of the Los Angeles underground rallying around one of their own, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, we’re freaks, therefore we are! Happy Birthday, ‘Mandapants.

Join Forest Nui Cobalt for her new Astrology Column the first Wednesday of June to see what the stars have in store for you …

Saturday

Having been up to my eyeballs in cardboard boxes from the move to Los Feliz, I had spent the previous two weeks on a bit of a hiatus from dancing. But, Saturday night, it was time to get back on the go-go box and take no prisoners. DJ Xian presented yet another enchanted evening of “Beautiful Music for Beautiful People” at her elegant, ethereal bi-monthly club night: Ruin. The Monte Cristo was packed as she pulled out the sexiest tunes in her arsenal. Three hours flew by in a haze of leather corsets and absinthe. There was still a high concentration of bodies on the dance floor when I was backstage, pulling tips out of my boot straps.

Sunday

Woke up at the crack of noon and wandered over to The Hoodoo Factory, Downtown. Austin Coppock a.k.a. Baron Samadhi von Coppockalypse teaches courses in Astrology and Hoodoo in the dark recesses of LA’s warehouse district. I armed myself with caffeine and sat down for some schoolin’. Kaitlin Reeves lives and works with The Baron, along with Ryan and Vanessa Valentine who round out this truly gifted “Occult and Gnostic Arts Collective.” Being a bit of an old hat in the Esoteric Sciences, m’self … I have to admit that these folks amaze me. Six hours and several french presses full of dark roast later, my head was buzzing.

Monday

Back to the weekly grind at the ol’ Psychic Eye Bookstore. It was good and busy for a Monday: I threw some Tarot cards, read some natal charts and helped some folks get their heads on straight. Well … straighter. We’re ploughing along through a Mercury Retrograde in Taurus, right about now and it seems to be weighing pretty heavily on people. Good news is, it wraps up around the 11th so, we’ll be clear before too long. Just back up your computer files and double-check any important paperwork between now and then, especially the financial stuff. Trust me.

Wednesday

Having played an amazing show, the week before, Peter (my partner in Moodorgan Project, crime, art and … things I can’t tell you) took a rare break from his work in multimedia alchemy to ride with me down to the Lip Service Headquarters. The nice folks there hooked me up with some supremely sexy Stretch Fuck’n Jeans. We spent a few indulgent minutes perusing the racks and lusting after the sharp threads in their permanent sample sale. (Have you been, yet? You should go.) Then, Peter was back to the workstation, heads-down editing the new Moodorgan video for, Remember the Truth.

Thursday

Busted my ass with a crew of good friends to get the last of the furniture moved into my new place, before the weekend. It’s always kind of shocking when you realize just how much stuff you’ve accumulated. It was non-stop sweat and muscle for six hours straight! I owe each of those guys a steak dinner. I’m a vegetarian but, when your buddies come through for you, like that … a girl’s gotta be flexible.

Friday

Date night. Work’s done, time to unwind. It’s Walpurgisnacht: the pagan holiday also known as Beltane. It’s a fairly big deal among those of us who are into the Hocus Pocus, just about as big as Halloween. The blowout party extravaganza is set for tomorrow night. So, this evening, we are keeping it low-key, curling up with a bottle of 15 year old, single malt scotch and watching some old episodes of The X-Files. Yes. I’m Geek and I’m proud.

Saturday

My new Stretch Fuck’n Jeans make their debut! Silverlake’s Sunset Junction bore witness to a long, hedonistic night of revelry. Peter was spinning the last set of the evening and the music had people still dancing when the sun came up. I won’t give you all the details but, I will say … before we collapsed in the wee hours of Sunday morning we had done our witchy predecessors proud.

Wed-Thurs:

Had the day off, so I hiked up Runyon Canyon…now let me say that I understand not everyone is as in shape as I am, but I wish they would bulldoze a new path that would challenge us “fortunate ones.”  I would also appreciate ash trays along the path so I have somewhere to take my smoke breaks.   In the meantime, I asked an overweight lady and her slightly obese daughter if they’d like a tandem piggyback ride up to the top…they were struggling already so they were happy to accept my offer, and I was finally going to get a workout.  After taking some pictures at the top, I treated them all to In N Out…where I tried to influence and motivate healthy eating habits by refraining from ordering anything “animal-style.”

Fri:

Back to work:  always fun at True Tattoo(hollywood)…always something to see or do.  Today, for instance, I saw the WORST TATTOO OF THE WEEK:  it wasn’t done in our shop, mind you…somewhere at Wilmington Swap Meet, I believe.  Let it be a lesson that when you’re not willing to pay for good artists, you get bad tattoos.  Or backwards Superman logos.

I also finished a tattoo that I’m very proud of, on my friend Jonny…it’s a memorial tattoo for his great aunt, who, in her later years, was prone to lighting candles in her rose garden and dressing up like the Blessed Virgin while listening to the first 2 Megadeth records.  It’s a special feeling when you get to help someone remember a loved one.

Saturday:

After work went to check out my old friends Murder By Death at The Troubadour.   it had been a while since they’d been through on tour, so it was a good visit.  While there, I finally got a decent picture of the greatest “best friend” tattoos ever:  And yes, that’s my arm and their drummer, Dagan’s.  What better way to celebrate brotherhood by paying homage to one of the top 5 greatest films of all time?

I also got to talk to my old friend, Benjamin…Ben’s an especially good friend because he has on him one of the first tattoos I ever did.  And I beg his forgiveness every time I see him.  Meh, what are friends for?

CONVERSATION OF THE NITE:

FAN-GIRL:  I’m an artist.  I love art.  I really wanna get into designing album art…
BEN:  Cool! I’ve done some of that. Like this record for instance, I did the cover for it.
GIRL:  Wow, did you do that on Illustrator?
BEN:  Nope.  I carved it out of a block of wood.

by the way:  have you ever seen subliminal messaging on a whiskey bottle?  I have…

Sun-Mon:

There’s a lot of human interaction in my line of work, as one may imagine.  I love meeting new people and getting to know them as I permanently mark their skin, but I also get a real kick out of tattooing people I already know.  Like the time I covered up an ex-girlfriend’s name on Bryan Adams…sure, Brian and I have known each other for a long time, but it wasn’t until I tattooed him that I understood what he meant by “cuts like a knife.”

Or like today, when I tattooed my friend Mac, of the (in)famous Los Angeles rock n roll powerhouse The Letter Openers.  Mac isn’t like a lot of my customers…he actually suffers from a rare blood disorder that causes his body to react oddly while getting tattooed.  As a result, his body releases an unnatural amount of adrenaline and can only be counteracted with an equally extreme depressant.  My solution is to go to a bar and drink copious amounts of alcohol while “dancing out” the rest of his adrenaline.  It’s the least I can do for a loyal customer and good friend.  Unfortunately, his condition also causes him to hemorrhage from his armpits, so his shirt was just ruined.  All in all a good night, though.

Those were the highlights of my week…tomorrow nite I’m supposed to work a private tattoo party at David Copperfield’s house.  Stay tuned for that.