Remakes are silly.
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010 by Nos
Seriously. I’ve come full circle with these damn things…
Just like the “She/He has schizophrenia and the whole ending is part of a delusion” got really old, really fast, remakes don’t have a good track record. At first I was on the fence about them. TEXAS CHAINSAW blew the big one but I really enjoyed HILLS HAVE EYES. Then the onslaught of crap-o-rama came. Nothing was sacred from big budget remakes and the studios (naturally) didn’t give two shits whether it looked good, made sense, or even had longevity. They just wanted the profits from opening weekend.
“Oh the injustice!” … “Oh the shame!”
Horror fans around the globe, myself included, bitched up a storm as one by one our favorites got re-cast with WB actors. I boycotted, wrote angry things on forums, and burned promo posters to express my rage at the situation. Then I just sorta got numb to the whole thing. Eventually, I started to see the positives … like the fact that some forgotten treasures found the their way to a special edition DVD because of the remake. I began to calm down and just accept that it’s all part of the landscape.
Then came the “American version” remakes.
Yes, I understand this concept is nothing new. Japanese horror film renditions for American viewers saw a great surge ten years ago (THE RING, THE GRUDGE). The popular response to these remakes was always “Well I found the original to be much more scary, when I saw it two years ago.” – In this particular situation, I’m gonna have to call people out on a little bit of bull. There is a huge cultural and language difference between America and Japan. It’s not to say their films can’t be scary (Hello, AUDITION) but pound for pound these films don’t tend to strike a fear chord with us. In these cases I can see why an American version is appealing.
What’s really getting my Irish up are these American versions of French, Spanish, and Italian films … that were made less than five years ago. Long gone are the days of imports, when you had the option to watch a foreign film dubbed in English or (God forbid) in its original language with subtitles in the theater. In this politically correct society, we are much too delicate for horror films (or any film for that matter) which may challenge or disgust us. So we take a concept and homogenize it to fit our standards. This is both an outrage and a perfect snapshot of today’s America.
Conspiracy? Maybe … but that’s a topic to be explored in another column. Right now I’m just pissed off because the producer from TWILIGHT has a hold of the MARTYRS remake.
IN OTHER NEWS ……
The long awaited Nos website … goddessofgorenos.com has an official content launch date! That means I’ll be terrorizing the internet with my own brand of sexy in just a few days. It’s different, doesn’t play by the rules, and I’m sure you’ll love it. - Or you’ll hate it and never talk to me again. Either way it all goes down JULY 1st!
My bestie Ugly Shyla (http://www.uglyart.net/) has been hard at work on new morbid fine art dolls. Check out the latest one on her etsy shop. Ugly’s work is pretty incredible and any fan of horror should own at least ONE of her pieces in their lifetime.
AFTER PARTY MASSACRE has its first trailer up and I’m in it! Wheee! http://www.afterpartymassacre.com/mdf/
XoXo
Nos
