Posts Tagged ‘cocktails’

Spicing up Cinco de Mayo with Sin

First, let it be said for the record that, according to many reliable info sources, Cinco de Mayo is not actually celebrated throughout Mexico (it’s more a Puebla thing) … that, in all honesty, is a holiday on par with St. Patrick’s Day, an excuse to chow down on particular grub and do lots of drinking, no matter what your personal heritage. Of course, this is not a criticism by your friendly neighborhood lover of vice and degeneracy. Any excuse to let down the hair and get down is all good with me.

So, why not blow out the stops on this sucker, right?

Oh sure, you can spend your Cinco de Mayo going out for a few tacos and repairing to some gabacho sports bar for Coronas, maybe a shot or two of hallucinogen … *erm* I mean, tequila. So long as we’re going to have an “excuse to party” holiday, let’s fucking party, kids! Are you with me? Thought you would …

Since “Fifth of May” falls on a rather inconvenient Wednesday, I will begin by recommending celebrating the spirit of Cinco over the safer-to-blow-it-out weekend nights. No sense having to survive two long work days after howling at the moon when one can schedule the fun when it’s less-taxing to possibly have fun (or worse)- a hangover.

Oh, that’s not “traditional”? Well, since most of us are not Mexican and precious few are actually from Puebla, I think we can handle it, right?

Let’s start the night with a little social/inhibition lubricator … sponsored by the Deadly Sin of Anger!

Raging Vodka

Start with some vodka (I recommend some yummy potato vodka, but any sort will do) and a couple Jalapeño peppers. Clean the peppers well, split them up the middle and place them in a clean glass jar or bottle. If you have some cheesecloth or a sachet bag, use that to contain the peppers to make the final step MUCH easier. Let the infusion hang out for at least a day or two in the fridge (no more than 5-7 days), giving it a shake now and again. Once it’s at the intensity you desire, either pop out your pepper bundle or strain the mixture through cheesecloth into a fresh bottle. Keeps indefinitely (in the freezer is a very good place, especially if you like to drink it straight-up).

Don’t like your vodka neat? Why not make some ass-kicking cocktails with it?

Bloody Mary gets Hot! - Get thee some tomato juice (clamato, if you want to be more traditional), worcestershire, fresh ground pepper, a pinch of salt, and a nice stalk of celery and do some spicy mixology to your heart’s content.

Try mixing with some lime juice and club soda, too, for a fresher, zingy flavor that keeps your infused booze at center stage on your palate.

Or, you can go with a more traditional Vodka Martini, with a kick!

Don’t throw out those vodka-infused jalapeños, either. They’ll be fucking awesome in the recipes below!

After your pre-hedonism cocktail(s), how about some sinful eats, brought to you by one of my favorites of the 7 Deadlies, Gluttony! And, in case you didn’t know it, spicy foods have long been considered members of the aphrodisiac arsenal, along with shellfish such as shrimp, sexy ripe avocados, and *duh* chocolate. So, enjoy your food hedonism now and get a leg up on your urge to work it off later. That’s a win-win in my book!

Drunken Salsa

1 vodka-infused jalapeño – finely minced
1 cucumber – peeled, seeded and finely chopped
1 red onion – finely chopped
1 red pepper – fire-roasted, seeded, and finely chopped
10 Roma tomatoes – roasted (400 degree oven – 40 minutes), peeled, seeded and finely chopped
1 poblano (or mild) pepper – fire-roasted, seeded, and finely chopped
1 bunch cilantro – leaves only, finely chopped
6-8 scallions – finely chopped
1 avocado – finely chopped
1 dried pepper – hot or mild, your choice – finely ground
lime juice – at least 1/2 lime, then add to desired level of acidity
kosher or sea salt – to taste

Mix it all up in a nice, big bowl and chill for at least 1-2 hours to let the flavors come together before serving

Hot Drunken Shrimp Tacos

2 TBSP olive oil
1/2 vodka-infused jalapeño – finely minced
1 bunch cilantro – leaves only – finely chopped (split into two portions for cooking + topping)
6-8 scallions – finely chopped (split into two portions for cooking + topping)
1 lb. shrimp – peeled, cleaned, tails removed, and lightly butterflied (a nice slit about 1/2 through will help to cook quickly and evenly without over-cooking and let the flavors really get in there, too.)
pinch of saffron
juice of 1/2 lime (or more if you like a more citrusy taste)
corn tortillas – lightly heated in a dry frying pan or in a tortilla steamer (White corn is great for this if you can get it)
red onion – finely chopped for topping

other possible toppings:
sour cream or thick yogurt
shredded cabbage
radish
shredded cotija cheese
black olives
avocado or guacamole (super-easy guac recipe below)
an extra sqeeze of lemon or lime
whatever other treats your naughty heart desires

Heat a pan to MED-HI and add the oil. Once it glistens, add the jalapaño and one of the portions of scallions and stir for a moment to get the flavors into the oil. The, add the shrimp, cilantro, and saffron, stirring constantly until the shrimp are done. You will know they are done when the butterfly cuts swell up and split the shrimp and the color of the shrimp turns opaque (not clear). Take them off the heat and out of the pan immediately, since they will continue to cook until perfectly done from residual heat on the plate. Then assemble your tacos and enjoy!

Super-easy guacamole

2-3 avocado – cut into chunks (+ optional avocado – diced small)
juice of 1/2 lemon
2 TBSP sour cream or thick yogurt
1/2 vodka-infused jalapaño – finely minced
1/4 – 1/2 cup cliantro – leaves only, loosely chopped
1/2 red onion – finely chopped
sea or kosher salt – to taste

optional: chili powder

Put the avocado in your food processor and pulse until it’s getting creamy. Then add the lemon and sour cream and process until smooth. Add the jalapeño, cilantro, onion, and salt (and chili powder) and pulse until well-blended … not too much or you’ll make them mush. (**a note about chili powder: some chili powders contain large amounts of salt so, if you’re using it, check the ingredients before adding salt.**) If you want to be all fancy and have an extra layer of texture, add in an extra avocado which is diced up in smallbits after processing. It’ll put in just a little more sexy, smooth bite.

For decadent dessert, how about a spicy, sexy quadruple-aphrodisiac? Thought you might like that …

Spicy Sexy Coffee

Make espresso ground in your coffee maker, using 2 filters for a more robust blend. In your coffee mug, measure in 1-2 TBSP of good cocoa powder, a sprinkle of hot chili (like cayenne), and cinnamon along with sugar if you want a sweeter flavor. Pour in the hot coffee and add half and half.

Now, on to the best and spiciest sin of them all … LUST!

Start out your seduction with something super-sexy … some hot Latin dancing! There is little that gets you in the mood for some passionate “afterwards” like some hip-swaying, hot dancing to smokin’ hot latin music. If you want to up the ante even more, skip the traditionalism and go with some modern ass-shaking tunes by some ass-kicking Latinos like Los Lobos or Los Fabulous Cadillacs. Work up a sweat and get those pheromones pumping to get ready for the finale!

Are you good and spiced up? Good! Now it’s time to really crank of the heat by slowing it down some. “WTF!” you might be saying, “But I’m raring to go!” And that’s exactly why a bit of slinky, slow seductive will be that much more hot. Let the drive just rev up while you have some more fun … trust me, it’ll just keep getting hotter.

Maybe you’d like to pull on some of your military Lippy fetish gear and do a bit of martial role-play in honor of the famous battle … questioning your prisoner can be lots and lots of fun.

Maybe a bit more tasty treats are more your bag? Have you ever heard the thing about cinnamon Red Hot candies and *hee hee* certain parts of the anatomy? Mmmm Hmmm … yes, I have. Just sayin’ … you can do what you like with this little piece of info.

Well, I’m pretty sure you can take it from here … you naughty, spicy creatures. Enjoy yourself a Sexy, Sinful Cinco and we’ll see you next month with more delicious VICES.