As the calendar date shifts towards the 24th of November, people across the United States are make their pilgrimages back home to reunite with their families in order to celebrate the great turkey holiday. Their thought dials are set to tune in only to feelings of intimacy, festivity, and gluttony; and they no doubt eagerly await the anticipated merriment promised with the holidays. They are completely unaware that a mutant strain of influenza type A virus subtype H3N2 has re-emerged a hemisphere away in the Australian coastal city Brisbane, similar to the incident in 2008. Unfortunately, a cargo ship loaded illegally with infected turkeys was launched for the USA three weeks prior to the holiday…

The freight ship docks in southern California on November 8th. The workers unload the turkeys as planned and transfer them rapidly to slaughter houses. The day following the allocation, the dockhands experience headaches and sore throats. The abnormally cold weather is blamed. The turkeys are redistributed into packaged goods and sent to stores and markets a few days later. Some farmhands begin to notice dark spots on their body, but no apparent pain or discomfort. Business continues as usual. The turkeys make their way to myriad sectors of the country, and on their journey the meat comes into contact with uncountable additional shipments of good. The first full blown cases of the H3N2 outbreak happen in rural, sparsely populated areas and go generally unnoticed by the populous. Several families in North Dakota are admitting to the hospital coughing up blood and bile, typically with black spots littering their skin. A man in Wyoming with similar black spots is brought to a clinic with bleeding from the eyes, mouth and anus. By the time thanksgiving arrives, it is too late to contain the tempest of disease. Families across the country lay out their meal platters and begin to feel their flesh crawl with plague. Mothers begin to rend and tear at their skin to alleviate the hellish itch. Children cough and spew blood all over the table, filling rooms with the heinous contagion. The plague’s advanced form rapidly shows the signs of a viral hemorrhagic fever and leprosy. A child’s skin hardens and he peels away at the scabs; a man drinking wine collapses into his mashed potatoes as his lungs fail. Twins are driven into a berserk state and attempt to use a carving knife to remove the other’s face. A woman feels her entrails slide out of her body in a slimy stew of bile and acrid stench. There is no escaping the pandemic, it is carried by the birds and they are flying overhead now…

Happy Thanksgiving!

BIRDEMIC

She’s draped in lace and bones and something else you can’t put your finger on. Is it the distinct scent of death? This highly fatalistic look, styled to remind us of our own mortality in these uncertain times, borrows liberally from authentic plague doctor beak-shaped protective masks while adding some fresh ingredients to the mix such as feathered posture collars. The latter serves as a tongue-in-cheek tribute to our avian friends, which might or might not eventually be responsible for our extinction. Meanwhile pink ruffles trimming the Nocturnal Rendezvous Shrug which faithfully mirror the distinct fanlike folds of intestines provide a literal take on organic fashion. Go on. Catch the twenty-first century plague with Vanity Kills.

• Historically, plague physicians were suited in head-to-toe waxed leather cloak or gown-like garments designed to protect the wearer from exposure to life-threatening germs. Completely enshrouding the body was standard practice, and in the spirit of concealment I’ve taken great care to ensure that no bare skin was left exposed by attiring myself in a posture collar (to cover my neck), black gloves (to keep my hands from coming into contact with who knows what) and a floor length skirt. Since the amorphous, tent-like silhouettes of genuine plague doctor wear are not what I consider to be very conducive to femininity, I focused on adapting other attributes of the aforementioned medieval ensembles – namely the waxen texture of the over-garments. And so I fended off contamination (while bringing it to YOU) by choosing shiny, black pieces such as the Nocturnal Rendezvous Ruffle Shrug #38-116 and an equally slick underbust corset.
• Behold the blood glistening against a medley of caged guts and snow white feathers. You don’t personify a disease without toting around an accessory that boldly proclaims “Hi there, I’m not sidestepping subtlety; I’m running it over with a bus”.
• I opted out of the traditional wide-brimmed hat in favor of “bird’s nest”-like hair, complete with a small raven surveying the terrain from amidst the chaos on my head. The partially disguised presence of an ebony plumed pestilence carrier provided the finishing touch this “pretty in plague” outfit needed.
• Dem Bones cami top #56-296 and a floral lace button down blouse boost those style antibodies.
• I have a confession to make. I wasn’t always a fan of those “super creepy plague doctor bird masks”, as previously noted in Plague Widow. Something about that long-snout, just didn’t sit right with me. Inexplicably, that same eerie sensibility that initially turned me off drew me right back in, because it’s hard to resist adornments fashioned with a poxy lady in mind.

In conclusion, let us give thanks for making it another year without being wiped out by a global pandemic.

Obligatory Disclaimer: No live poultry was “fowled”, harmed or otherwise made uncomfortable for the sake of capturing these images. Not unless you count a tacky feather boa sacrificed to the photo Gods. The swine guts were purchased at a supermarket and if I didn’t use utilize them for artsy purposes, in all likelihood they would’ve wound up as someone’s dinner. I have no qualms about “bimboing around with pig parts” (Thank you Bud Bundy for that great quote), but I’ll never go as far as retrieving them from a live pig. Even if it’s a member of the Kardashian family.

Be sure to check out 2010’s take on Thanksgiving terror here.

Credits

Photographer: Stevie Oh! Photography

Model: Vanity Kills

Location: Letchworth Village, NY

<3

Vanity Kills

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Story by: Dan Barrett (a devout aficionado of unintelligible black metal band logos)

“Call the rest of your brothers – I’ll give their hearts to the wolves!” The trees trembled as she spoke. Sickly stench of the dead lingered in the air around the Throne of Cupcakes. Sadly, there were none left with the strength to adequately answer her proposition. “Psh!” She shook her head in disdain and produced a small cylindrical container carved from white oak. Her slender fingers massaged the lid as she methodically uncorked it; from its bowels leaked the fair scents of lavender and cherry frosting, mingling with the odor of rotting bodies until they overtook the foulness completely, like an insurmountable army crushing a rebel faction.

The princess of the Rouge Empire of Cuteness sat aloft in her ancient carven throne amid the woodlands beyond the parapets and ramparts of the castle walls. The failed siege by the pirates of Rosencrown lay covered in moist earth before her. Plant-life and moss had begun to entomb the oldest of the collapsed bodies. Like many other wayward cultures, they wanted unauthorized access to the Rouge Vaults of Cute Cats, which could only be granted by the Matriarch. This treasure would not fall into the hands of foreign nations. Though this battle was over, there would inevitably be many more to come.

She rose from the magnificent throne and lifted high the great skull of a long- horned beast which rested atop the chair. From her entrancing lips she issued a vicious warning to any who might hear it: “Twenty thousand have raised their swords against this kingdom and all have fallen, trembling at my feet. My blade thirsts for the blood of my adversaries. May the four winds carry my battlecry; if any others should desire to come against my kingdom, let them hear my words. All men who harbor aggression towards us shall leave this earth with the taste of steel in their mouths and their bodies ravaged by my weapons. No peril shall befall my blessed dominion.”

One part Gorgoroth, two parts Hello Kitty

Inspiration List: Bones, Ruthlessreview.com’s notorious “Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time” list, Hello Kitty, Conan the Barbarian, my undying love of taking over-the-top black metal parody photos, deconstructing “kvltness”, Immortal’s “Unholy Forces of Evil”, the color pink, grim forests of New Jersey, Lords of Chaos (one of my favorite books of all time), scratching the itch to pose with cloven-hooved ungulate skulls and Bill’s fancy throne.

Black metal strives to embody 100% pure evil. No filler, no preservatives, and naturally: NO CORE NO TRENDS NO FUN NO MOSH. In their everlasting (and oddly similar to gangsta rap) crusade to keep it real, the artists which dominated the genre grew notorious for setting houses of worship ablaze, stab- happy Norwegians, and stages decorated with staked sheep heads. And Satan help you if the mainstream took a liking to your musical stylings. MTV airplay surely meant getting 86ed from the “kvlt klvb”.

Ironically, black metal’s unmistakably signature style of reveling in obscurity allowed for instant recognition. Slavishly cultivating a predictably uniform affinity for completely unreadable band logos, lo-fi black and white album covers completely undistinguishable from each other, constant flip-flopping between Satanism & Norse Heathenism, and vehement opposition to good production left little room for an element of surprise. That said, there’s certain comfort in knowing that one can blindly pick any CD emblazoned with arbitrarily placed disembodied goat heads and runic symbols and still hear the same old cum-gurgling goblin vocals they’ve come to know and love.

The wardrobe serves as an extension of one’s malignant soul: colorless and humorless. Burzum shirts and bullet belts for day; getups that could only be described as an unholy bastard child of Medieval LARP-ers and an achromatic Ronald McDonald for nights of demonic evocation Under a Funeral Moon. By “demonic evocation”, I clearly mean taking promo shots for scene-mandated obligatory bedroom projects. And a promo photo it ain’t until hooded robes, Thor’s hammers, corpse paint, and spiked gauntlets cover every last available inch of flesh (that isn’t tattooed with Nordic knotwork). The grimaced visages of all parties present must be frozen in a permanent expression of sheer terror brought forth by unexpected yet, nonetheless, secretly enjoyed surprise buttseckz. Let it be noted that snow-blanketed nighttime forest settings make for the only admissible location.

If willing to overlook a distinct lack of dragons and cod pieces (the power metal scene laid claim to those individually wrapped little slices of processed cheese product) one is likely to notice a definite Conan-esque flair to the imagery. Barbarians of sword and sorcery epics tend to be celebrated for their wanton brutality, perpetual bloodthirst and adherence to Nordic pagan values. Alas, one must take care not to take their Cimmerian cosplay too literally, lest they risk veering into Manowar territory. Horned helmets and beastly pelts are generally considered acceptable, while sandaled feet and chainmail underwear which do little to uphold the sacred tenet of “black metal ist krieg” are strictly verboten. For as the covenant between Euronymous and the unwashed masses states: “Thou shalt be necro at all times!”

Today’s fashion objective lies in sourcing style elements from iconic black metal trappings, re-imagined with unexpected elements of frolicsome pink. Let us happily de-saturate the levels of “tr00 kvlt”, by coloring outside the traditionally blacker than pitch lines with gleeful notes of My Little Pony hues. While we’re at it, let’s cast Hello Kitty in the upcoming Conan the Barbarian remake. After all, nothing beats relaxing with a cupcake in hand all curled up under your Barbie blanket after a long hard day of crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentation of their women.

Cute meets grim in…

• Nocturnal Rendezvous Ruffle Shrug #38-116 in the black/magenta colorway.Puffed sleeves are the girlie girl’s answer to spiked shoulder pads. No football armor, trips to Home Depot, nor any assembly required!
• Undeniably Dem Bones cami top #56-296 in the black/white colorway comes standard in the grimmest of all prints. No bones about it!
• Pink PVC platforms of ankle-snapping height pose no threat to the talus bones of the enthroned.
• Swap an inverted cross necklace (and no there’s nothing wrong with those, thank you very much) for a vinyl cameo brooch pinned to the side of Lolita Candy Snap Front Neck Collar #28-426 in the black/pink colorway.
• Threatened by the prospect of showing up at Fenriz’s Annual Virgin Sacrifice & Keg Party ‘11 donning the same ensemble as Dark Funeral (again), I opted for a solid black PVC ruffled bustle skirt over the leather pants and shin guards.
• The leopard print underbust corset appeases the savage beast inside.

Corpse paint has its’ place. Immortal’s publicity photos wouldn’t be the same without it. Giant pandas slither out of the womb sporting their trademark ghastly pallor and those dead, hollow, blackened eye sockets. And for many of us it’s what essentially defined 1990’s Norway. With all due respect, when worn in the streets with reckless abandon, the general public will gladly consider those Dimmu Borgir-esque facial doodles an open invitation to beat you senseless faster than you can utter a muffled “Infernal hails”.

Quench your Transilvanian Hunger (without Juggalos mistaking you for one of their own) with yummy strawberry pink frosting lips and Carpathian Forest inspired green gradient eyes.

General Prep Work

You will need:

Moisturizer, Primer, Concealer, Matte liquid Foundation, Foundation Brush, Translucent Powder, Powder brush, Eyeshadow primer

1. Wash your face with a cleanser formulated especially for your skin type. Rinse thoroughly and pat dry with a soft cloth. Prep your skin with moisturizer before applying concealer in order to ensure a smoother, flake-free application.
2. Before proceeding any further, allow your skin to properly absorb the moisturizer. This should take about 10 minutes.
3. Since foundation worn alone often has a nasty habit of settling in the fine lines around your mouth, near your eyes, and on your forehead, I highly recommend using a primer after you’ve moisturized your face. Utilizing a small amount of primer helps to fill in unflattering expression lines, pores, and scars, thus allowing foundation to actually do its job!
4. Nix blemishes and skin discoloration by gently patting concealer over the trouble area. Follow by blending with your ring finger.
5. Apply a matte liquid foundation which best matches your skin tone to your face and neck with a foundation brush (a full dome shaped brush works beautifully). Start by applying small dots in the center of your face and then moving outward.
6. Set everything in place by finishing off with a thin coat of translucent powder. Use a full, round shaped powder brush for optimal results.
7. Prep your lids with eyeshadow primer to neutralize the colour of your lids, which in turn makes for brighter more vibrant shadow. It also prevents said shadow from creasing.

Eyes

You will need:

Rounded edge brush, deep forest green pigment, emerald green eyeshadow, fluffy shading brush, neon yellow-green eyeshadow, small blending brush, neutral beige eyeshadow, white eyeliner pencil, eyeliner brush, black mascara

1. Using a slightly dampened rounded edge brush, apply deep forest green pigment to the outer 1/3 portion of your eyelid, starting at the lashline and extend it slightly past the crease.
2. Blend a lighter emerald green eyeshadow into the middle 1/3 of your lid with the help of a fluffy shading brush. Yet again, start at the lashline extending the shadow slightly past the crease. Take extra care to blend the edge of the emerald green into the deep forest green you added in Step 1. You’ll want this transition to be as smooth and seamless as possible.
3. Fill in the innermost 1/3 corner of your eye with neon yellow-green eyeshadow applied with a small blending brush. The color should be blended up, outward and into emerald green shadow you used in Step 2.
4. Highlight your browbone with neutral beige eyeshadow applied with a cleaned fluffy shading brush.
5. Dab a small amount of the same deep forest green pigment you used in Step 1 onto a lightly moistened eyeliner brush. Tap off the excess. Line ¾ of your bottom lashline starting at the outer corner of your eye, slowly making your way toward the inner corner.
6. Use a hint of neon yellow-green eyeshadow to line the remaining ¼ of your bottom inner lashline in an identical manner.
7. To really open up the eyes; line your lower waterline with a white eyeliner pencil.
8. Curl your eyelashes with an eyelash curler and top off with 2 coats of black mascara.

Cheeks

You will need:

Matte light taupe blush, dusty rose blush, blush brush, highlighter (optional)

1. Swipe some matte light taupe blush onto your blush brush. Starting mid-cheek, going towards your ear, apply this warm, slightly brownish-gray shade (it’s less scary than it sounds) into the hollows of your cheeks using short, up-and-down vertical strokes. Darker shades will give the illusion of the hollows of your cheeks receding, which enhances the overall definition of your cheekbones.
2. For a soft yet sculpted finish, brush a dusty rose blush along the cheekbones, starting at the apples, working your way toward the temples.
3. Dabbing a small amount of highlighter onto the tops of cheekbones creates a visual lift.

Lips

You will need:

Hot pink lipliner, Magenta lipstick

1. Use a hot pink lipliner to fill in your lips, starting at the center of your natural lip line and moving toward the outer corners.
2. With the help of a lip brush, deposit a small amount of intensely hot pink lipstick onto the center of your mouth, carefully pulling the color out toward the corners. To ensure lipstick-free teeth, place a finger horizontally in your mouth, close your lips around it and pull out slowly.

Credits

Photography:Bill Tracy Photography

Model:Vanity Kills

Location: “Trondheim, Norway”(errrrr Montague, NJ)

Infernal Hails!

Vanity Kills

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Brooklyn band, Sleighbells, rockin’ (the sold out!) Dem Bones leggings for their 2010 Coachella set. See the full gallery at www.losanjealous.com.

For some cool Dem Bones  – go here!

#1 – Dem Bones

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