A Freak’s Guide to Being Thankful!
Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 by Mich Masoch
Oh, sure, there will be lots of lists all over the damn place about what all the boring-ass vanilla super-sunshiney people are thankful for coming into tomorrow’s show-thanks-by-stuffing-your-face fest. But who fucking cares about some asshole gushing over the kids they shove up your Facebook stream every fucking day anyway or the oft-posted-in-all-his-cutesy-pet-glory Mr. Fuzzy or what the hell ever … or *GYAH! … the endless meanderings about how very thank-fuuuuuuulll we should be for whatever mundane bullshit.
Well, I AM thankful … but for (at least I think) a slightly more interesting, eclectic, and … well, naughty list of fabulousity.
If you have not been introduced to the King of graphic novel jaded cynicism and glorious vulgarity (not to mention the weirdly funny and nasty one-frames “Edison Hate Future” and “Watson Hates Holmes“) go check him out immediately! His Twitter stream has become so infamous, there is now an actual Warren Ellis twitter generator. (Arse eels to all involved!) This is also the genius who created Transmetropolitan‘s Spider Jerusalem and gave him awesome lines, like: There was a time when I liked a good riot. Put on some heavy old street clothes that could stand a bit of sidewalk-scraping, infect myself with something good and contagious, then go out and stamp on some cops. It was great, being nine years old. His latest project, being the kick-ass human being he is, is FreakAngels, with free updates every Friday.
Is there a finer examplar of unbridled and unapologetic cheeztasticness in all the world? I think NOT! From the original gloriousness of Rocketman, to the god-awful TV shows, to his recent game show in which he ordered models over to poles to DANCE and OF COURSE the commercials, Shatner has a fine sense of humor about himself and the cult of personality which has grown around him and is a hero of epic proportion to any and all who can’t get enough ham-fisted, bloated semi-acting on a grand scale. Oh, and the “singing”! Enjoy this lovely tidbit of Shatnerificness lent to Jarvis Cocker’s “Common People” with Joe Jackson.
John Waters!
What self-respecting dirty stinking perverted freak does NOT adore the King of the Fringe, Baltimore’s Pride and Joy (or not … depending on who you’re talking to), John Fucking Waters. Beside his awesomely freaky movies, the man I like to think of as The Perverted Uncle I Never Had has also done some really fantastic spoken word. This Filthy World is equal parts insight, hilarity, and (of course) filth. Check out everything you could possibly want to know about the man and his work at Dreamland.
Ah, Larry, the patron saint of perverts and cranky bastards everywhere! I fucking LOVE this man! Not only has he built an impressive empire of awesome smut, he’s been there all along the way to fight for your right to see and read whatever the fuck you want. He’s hoisted holier-than-thou douchebags on their own sordid petards. And, all the while, he’s done it with quirky panache! Thanks Larry!
Finding everything you need for photo shoots 1 block away
How can a freak, especially one who likes to shoot lots of of sexy and gory photos, not absolutely love having latex, zesty mint blood, fangs, and everything else one could possibly want in walking distance? Add to that, a remarkably knowledgeable staff, who know everything one could ask about pretty much everything they carry, and you have a shop you never take for granted! Thanks Hollywood! Here’s a taste of some of the lovely stuff we did recently with goodies from our favorite toy store (photos by the Circus Hooker Smut Regime … painless decapitation by Wicked Illusions)…
Last but not least … how could any article of mine be complete without some lovely, naughty images to send you on your naughty way into this holiday weekend?
The Resurgence of Pin-Up!
Any and all of us sick to fucking death of seeing an endless array of starvation victims masquerading as hot babes can thank our lucky stars for the re-awakening of pin-up style. Curvy girls in saucy poses, a wink and a smile, and the lovely suggestion of invitation was something missing in other eye candy. Some of us want to be seduced, intrigued, lured … not bludgeoned with obvious and gratuitous. Thanks to The Pin-up Files for these gorgeous images of some of the classics and a few artists we may not have disovered otherwise. Check out their impressive 3-part gallery of some of the best pin-up art the web has to offer!
Well, there you go … stuff to be thankful to have as a mental escape from the spectacle of being forced to watch Uncle Skeeter ask some poor schmucky kid to “pull his finger” one more damned time.
Happy Thanksgiving to US freaks and … well … Happy Thursday to all of you outside our food-coma-addled borders!
LA freaks, come by Bordello Bar Saturday night to join the WebMaster and I as we catch some bad-ass psychobilly, compliments of Mickey Finn and his new band, Cold Blue Rebels!
