Posts Tagged ‘retro’

The summer sun was glaring down oppressively, pushing its blinding rays onto my face and neck. Despite its irritating nature, the light felt warm and invigorating against my pale skin. I was picnicking at the gate of the garden, encircled by colorful foliage, and although the surroundings were indescribably beautiful, I was still feeling a bit empty. There was one taste which could not be sated by the delights of this enclosure, and it was that of a delicious, sugary, donut. Oh, how I yearned for the smell and texture of that circular bit of dough; the vivid colors and sprinkles beckoning my senses to indulge. In fact, I believe I could just die for donuts.

But alas, there was not a bakery for miles! I was hopelessly out of luck.

However, at that moment a very strange thing occurred. From far across the lawn a giant ant was marching towards my position. Typically, I think that giant insects would incite panic within ones heart, as they are generally hideous and repulsive creatures. Oddly though, this ant had an adorable face and appeared almost plush in the gentle curves of his abdomen. Another thing to note about ants is they are very often the culprit of stealing food at a picnic. The large ant closing in on me was again in opposition to this stereotype, as it was actually bringing things to my picnic. How delightful this creature was!

“Thank you ant, you are very generous” I said, as it drew near. I leaned down and kissed its ovoid head. The odd courier had brought a male on its back, assumedly to attend me at my lunch. The male was dressed in a fancy vest & pants, with strange, pointy hair which was not a staple of the men from this village. I giggled at his cute and unusual fashion sense. He was clearly from a foreign land and would make a fascinating lunch partner. “Would you like to join me for tea?” I asked politely. It seemed that he would. To my utmost surprise, the stranger and his cohort had brought chic donuts, in several of my favorite flavors, to nom on for desert as well. And so, that would be our afternoon; drinking tea, speaking of beautiful things, and dining on the delectable and elusive donut.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: “I live in Bird Scrotum, New Mexico and the closest goth/industrial club to me is 300 miles away”, or “I don’t go out and dress up because all the clubs play Rob Zombie and cater to barely legal little douchebags. It’s like a fucking mallgoth convention. I’m not paying $10 to go to a mallgoth convention”, or “Our local night closed because, as much as people like to bitch for hours on end on the Internet that their town has nothing to offer, they don’t support the night when actually starts up”. Yeah, sadly that’s the reality for many of us, including myself. I relocated to upstate New York from the NJ/NYC area in 2005 and upon first stepping foot in an Ithaca, ahem…nightclub, I saw some SCARY shit. It was like crashing a game of Dungeons & Dragons, played at a Renn Faire by a bunch of furries. Occupying the same space as these individuals felt wrong on 10 different levels. “Is this really the same scene I’m in?” I’d often ask myself. I like industrial, so why is there NONE at a seemingly industrial club. Is it necessary to play back to back Nine Inch Nails songs? Are people REALLY requesting trance and Cradle of Filth? Yeah, we were all at a “goth” club, but I felt little to no kinship with people who thought that the Three Wolf Moon shirt was cool (and NOT IN AN IRONIC WAY) and took part in things like Live Action Roleplaying. It felt TOO MUCH like crashing a party thrown by sexless nerds, doomed to dwell in their Mother’s basement forever. A sea of 30+ year old virgins.

I make no apologies for publicly admitting that I didn’t belong there.

The “scene” was in poor shape then and it’s even worse now, so I found myself traveling A LOT, just to go to a decent club. Some of us don’t have that option.

If the belle has no ball to go to, she must create one. Remember when you were a kid and you made due with the simplest of things for the sake of entertaining yourself? Tea parties thrown for Barbies and legions of stuffed animals, climbing trees, and/or building blanket forts.

When was the last time you’ve been to a picnic? No, not the corporate kind where your immediate supervisor gets obliterated and starts unloading his marital issues in your lap. And you’re forced into way too much awkward forced interaction with your coworkers. The kind of picnic I speak of involves peeling yourself off the couch, off the social networking sites (where you’re probably busy posting about how bored you are and how you wish that there was something to do in your immediate area) and into the party clothes. No use in letting your Sunday’s best become a moth buffet if you can help it. Buckle the boots, pile on the ruffles and pin on the falls; you’re getting out of the house. Oh and, kindly inform your other half that ‘tis the time for a break from his all weekend long Left4Dead zombie slaughtering extravaganza. The living dead will still need killing when you come back, but for now they’ll have to wait.

Pack a basket with fresh fruit, decadent desserts (you can always bemoan the circumference of your waist at a later date, but for now SPLURGE) and just to keep things CLASSY, some good old cheap champagne in a brown paper bag. Head for the local park or historical cemetery. Nom, explore, take goofy pictures (for Facebook, naturally) and talk about how lame everyone at the local goth dive is. Drink in your own fabulousness while sippin’ the discount bubbly. It’ll be the fancy first date you never had. Note: Most relationships of people I’m acquainted with began by mutual consumption of well drinks and/or PBR, and were cemented by drunkenly going home together.

The technicality of not having an actual man in your life still shouldn’t stop you from dressing like you’re trying to impress one. Grab a fashionable friend (Meagan always being my #1 choice) and seize the day in style. After all there is no law which forces all ladies that lunch to dress like dull country club crones.

Or take the chance and ask an ant to bring you a mate. It obviously worked for me.

Picnic Perfect

You can always bank on 1940’s inspired styles to be quintessentially feminine and flattering. Alas, since historical accuracy is never de rigeur here at Lethal Style, I favor shirts like the Lady is a Tramp II One for My Baby Stretch Poplin Cap Sleeve Top in the red/black colorway. It captures the lady like essence of the period, while maintaining a modern, gothy feel with its PVC red and black pinstripe trim.

A formal ensemble lacking a corset is not unlike a stripper without her 8” trademark lucite heels. Or a “Virgin Daquiri”. I guess the idea is there, but something just feels off. So lace up and sit straight! I chose a red satin underbust accented with black polka dots. It makes me think of tasty gourmet pastries. The kind you take a picture of before you chow down, because hey, you just spent fucking $7 on a tiny tart. So you might as well immortalize it for posterity.

P.S. Cleavage!

But what’s this, Vanity Kills? Is that a pinstripe top paired with a polka dot corset? Isn’t pattern mixing considered to be a hallmark of poor taste? Didn’t your Mother teach you any better?

Aight, so first and foremost, my Mama didn’t raise no fool (Well, that’s not completely true, since I AM a fool for baked goods and clothing beyond my budget). Secondly, obsolete fashion rules are obsolete. If the color palette matches(in this case both the pinstripe trim on my solid black top and the color scheme of my underbust corset is red and black), then mixed patterns will work like a charm. Alas if you attempted this with a rainbow neon leopard halter top paired with a zebra corset, both busy patterns would complete for attention, resulting in the kind of catastrophe that lands peoples’ candid shots in those “What Not To Wear” sections in the back of magazines.

Also: just because hipsters do it, it doesn’t make it a good idea. Keep that in mind and you’ll always come out a winner.

Black and red skull cameo brooch is the spookier-than-thou alternative to the traditional portrait of a lady. Note: Pinning a brooch against your throat adds an instant touch of refinement to even the most basic looking, office dress code approved, Plain Jane, refrigerator white collared shirt.

Floor length black PVC Victorian bustle skirt celebrates turn-of-the century high society opulence, while eschewing the notions of prudence, modesty and various other forms of joykilling that is generally synonymous with that particular bygone era. I mean, yeah, the damn thing covers your ankles, but would surely garner disapproving looks from church-y folks who think that it’s a woman’s job to shield the male population from their own impure thoughts and other proper hemline aficionados. Indeed, the hemline might say “holy”, but the fabric says “harlot”. The perfect balance, say I.

Proud owner of a Duchess de Sade II Victorian Mourning Skirt in the black colorway? This would be a prime opportunity to parade around in it, darling. It just fits with the whole idea of lazing about in a park, sprawled out on a picnic blanket in your pseudo-Victorian fetish glory, while cute boys shove glazed rings of fried dough into your waiting mouth.

Sadly, “dressing up” means wearing your LEAST faded (and therefore “best”) Wumpscut T-shirt to a lot of the boys. And so, dear, male readers, I challenge you to do better. No, I don’t mean copying Gary Oldman’s look in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Most men I know would rather be shot in the face at close range than dress like Count von Froufrou. My boyfriend calls his dressy look “old world gentleman”. I call it “old world gentleman LITE” or “old-world-gentleman-whose-entire-outfit-can-easily be-assembled-from-various-mall-stores”. Think vests, classic short sleeved button downs made out of breathable materials and pants you can get away with wearing inside a religious institution. Personalize with one or two carefully chosen accessories such as copper and bronze steampunk inspired pocket watch or a few subtle skull* or gear pins. Don’t ruin your “good clothes” with tawdry, cheap-looking spiked collars and a million black rubber bracelets (Not that you should own those anyway, if you’re reading this)

*When I say skull, I mean something tasteful. Think anatomical Victorian, not a scowling skeletal visage bearing vampire fangs, blazing red jewelstone encrusted eyes and a jester hat. A good way to measure if a potential new trinket falls into the “tasteful” category is asking yourself if an Insane Clown Posse fan would be likely to enjoy this piece. If the answer is a resounding “No”, then you’re in the clear, my friend.

All tressed up and nowhere to go

There’s no such thing as half assing at Lethal Style! ‘Cause you can’t just pull out all the stops and not getcha hurr did.

I have written detailed descriptions of the exact method of installing hair falls here and here.

Note: Tired of covering up your roots with goggles and bandanas when rockin’ falls? (You should be)

While I remain largely indifferent to mainstream pop icons such as the notorious Lady Gaga ( most of the time) I must say that these hair bows she popularized are a fucking godsend. They’ll hide that troublesome inch or two of root growth like nobody’s business. Please DO buy one that matches your own hair color as closely as possible.

Gilty Pleasure

(I have managed to avoid obvious clichés about “going for the gold”. I figured you guys would appreciate that)

General Prep Work

You will need:

Moisturizer, Primer, Concealer, Matte liquid Foundation, Foundation Brush, Translucent Powder, Powder brush, Eyeshadow primer

1. Wash your face with a cleanser formulated especially for your skin type. Rinse thoroughly and pat dry with a soft cloth. Prep your skin with moisturizer before applying concealer in order to ensure a smoother, flake-free application.
2. Before proceeding any further, allow your skin to properly absorb the moisturizer. This should take about 10 minutes.
3. Since foundation worn alone often has a nasty habit of settling in the fine lines around your mouth, near your eyes, and on your forehead, I highly recommend using a primer after you’ve moisturized your face. Utilizing a small amount of primer helps to fill in unflattering expression lines, pores, and scars, thus allowing foundation to actually do its job!
4. Nix blemishes and skin discoloration by gently patting concealer over the trouble area. Follow by blending with your ring finger.
5. Apply a matte liquid foundation that best matches your skin tone to your face and neck with a foundation brush (A full dome shaped brush works beautifully). Start by applying small dots in the center of your face and then moving outward.
6. Set everything in place by finishing off with a thin coat of translucent powder. Use a full, round shaped powder brush for optimal results.
7. Prep your lids with eyeshadow primer to neutralize the colour of your lids, which in turn makes for brighter more vibrant shadow. It also prevents said shadow from creasing.

Vanity Kills’ Quick–n-Easy Golden Gaze

Eyes

You will need:

Rounded edge brush, golden pigment, eyeliner brush, matte white eyshadow, small eyeshadow brush, liquid black eyeliner, black mascara

1. Apply a high shimmer golden pigment with a dampened rounded edge brush across your entire eyelid from lashline to slightly past your crease. Tap your brush against your lid gently -DO NOT SWIPE- as you apply the product, for greater color payoff.
2. To score ultra electrifying lower lids, moisten an eyeliner brush slightly. Dab a tiny amount of golden pigment onto your brush, tapping off any excess color. Hold down your lower eyelid. Starting at the outer corner of your eye, sweep the brush along your lower lashline working your way inward.
3. Highlight your browbone by placing a hint of matte white eyeshadow directly under your eyebrows with the help of a small eyeshadow brush.
4. Starting at the inner corner of your eye, rim both your upper and lower lashline with liquid black eyeliner. For maximum application control, try an eyeliner pen.
5. Finish off the look by applying two thin coats of volumizing black mascara to your top lashes. Follow up with one coat to your lower lashes.

Cheeks

You will need:

Matte bronzer, petal pink blush, highlighter, blush brush

1. Swipe some matte pressed bronzer onto your blush brush .Starting mid-cheek, going towards your ear, apply the bronzer into the hollows of your cheeks using short, up-and-down vertical strokes. Darker shades will give the illusion of the hollows of your cheeks receding, thus giving your cheekbones a more chiseled look.
2. Using the same technique, add petal pink blush to the apples of your cheeks, which will cause them to protrude. Use translucent powder to blend between the two colors in order to avoid obvious lines.
3. For added glow, blend a small amount of highlighter into the tops of your cheekbones.

Lips

Nearly nude lips perfectly compliment this bold eye look.

You will need:

Medium nude brown lipliner, nude pink lipstick

1. Use a medium nude brown lip to fill in your lips starting at the center of your natural lip line and moving toward the outer corners. Filling in your entire lip area will not only make an excellent base for color, but will also prevent fading, feathering and general migration of your lip products.
2. Follow up with nude pink lipstick. Beginning in the center of your upper lip, gently press the tube into the flesh of your lip and then proceed to roll it over the entire top lip area, working toward the edges. Repeat the process on your bottom lip.

Credits:

Photography:Eye of Ra

Model(s):Vanity Kills
Dan Barrett
Stefan the Ant

Location: Northwest Washington DC

<3

Vanity Kills

I think it was about 3 years ago when I first met Mrs. Hendrickson. I was an amateur collector of all things Tiki, and new to town. I had heard through a colleague that she threw the absolute best Tiki-themed parties this side of Rapa Nui, so of course I could not turn down an opportunity to indulge in pseudo-Polynesian fare. It wasn’t long after I had moved that I was invited to one of her infamous shindigs. Her lounge was everything that I expected it to be: a densely packed space, filled to the brim with exotic foliage, strange & questionably legitimate artifacts, and all forms of carven Pacific rim deities big and small. In fact, the cluster of things was so heavy that no trace of the outside world had a chance of seeping in and ruining the experience. And what an experience it was. These wildly popular bashes were always crowded with new and returning faces, and there was no shortage of excellent rum-based drinks nor hedonistic activities to partake in. It was always a great place to go to escape the terrible events of the week and lose yourself in a strikingly realistic world of wooden gods, potted palms, hula dancing and of course the trademark of a Hendrickson party: the shrunken head drinking glasses.

Of course there were always rumors about the place, most likely spoken by those who weren’t adventurous enough to actually attend one of these alcohol-soaked affairs, and instead preferred to shit on other people’s good times from afar. The word on the street and resting on the lips of party-goers, though never spoken outright, was that Mrs. Hendrickson’s shrunken heads were just a little TOO realistic. She would never tell anyone where she purchased these curious vessels, or how she came to acquire such a collection, and instead insisted that their origin was mundane and the knowledge of it would ruin the mystique.

At first I, like the other guests, simply brushed off these rumors as silly urban legends invented by petty kill-joys who were jealous of Mrs. Hendrickson’s success. However, after attending these suburban island getaways for several years I started to notice things that were in fact a bit strange. Mrs. Hendrickson would introduce a new shrunken head on the last weekend of every month, and I swore some of them resembled attendees of days past, for example: someone who’s hair you vaguely remember staring at on the way to get another Mai Tai. But perhaps this was in some sort of odd tribute to an honored guest who moved away. There were other things too; I couldn’t help but think that the gaunt, leathery features on these heads were a bit TOO lifelike. In retrospect, they were a bit scary until you got a few drinks in your system (luckily which didn’t take very long at all). And if you had the honor of using the newest addition to the collection you would notice that it was oddly warm to the touch. For all of these things I found some sort of rationalization to ignore them, and of course a slice of bright fruit mixed with rum was always helpful in keeping my mind on more hedonistic matters.

However, after several years of enjoying the local interpretations of crab rangoon and pig roast, I came to know that the rumors of the shrunken heads was all too true. It was late in the year, one of the autumn months. I had been exploring the local dive bar scene while waiting for the next luau to commence and on several occasions had met a rather annoying young woman who attempted to wow me with stories of tribal life in Tahiti that were so full of gaping mistakes and inconstancies that she may as well have read me an amateur Hollywood script. The point is not that she grated on my nerves, but the fact that I knew her rather well and could recognize her juvenile countenance in any setting. Needless to say, when that fateful Tiki party I was rather pleased to get back to drunkenly arguing about the construction and transportation of the ancient Moai over Mrs. Hendrickson’s signature cocktail “Cannibal Concubine”. Since it also happened to be the end of the month, a new shrunken head was due to be announced. I had grown a bit weary of this tradition after bearing witness to it for so long, so I choose to talk with some friends rather than gaze upon yet another withered trophy. I thought nothing of this new cephalic chalice until it came into my field of vision later than night. Normally I would hardly have paid it any mind, but when I saw this ghastly abomination I couldn’t help but scream in fright. For the new head bore the exact visage of the girl from the bar!

Needless to say, that was my last encounter with Mrs. Hendrickson and her grandiose gatherings. I left town not too long after and never looked back. Sometimes I wonder about those parties though, as I am sure they continue in my absence. Despite everything, a part of me hopes that Mrs. Hendrickson is still there, throwing lavish soirees and pouring one of her trademark mixed drinks for a cute young girl with a memorable face.

Her most famous drink: “Cannibal Concubine”

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 oz white rum
• 1 1/2 oz dark rum
• 1 oz pineapple juice
• 1 oz orange juice
• 1/2 oz fresh blood
• grated foreskin
• severed finger or eyeball wedge

When the word “luau” springs to mind, what sort of wardrobe options does your mind conjure up? Grass skirts and coconut shell bras? Bikini bottoms and flip flops? Or perhaps the ubiquitous Hawaiian shirt with an updated feminine cut? While that’s mighty fine for a pig roast on the beaches of Oahu, dressing the part of this hula homemaker with a vicious streak calls for a sexy spaghetti strapped frock that will leave her party guests drunk with desire. Accessorize it with care and the boys will simply lose their heads!

Scratch the seven seas itch with a mainland-friendly cocktail dress suitable for suburban hausfraus struck by island madness .Think sinister hostess with the mostest in this elegantly simple Lip Service 92-186-HT cut 17643 style made for Hot Topic.

A must for the modern day June CLEAVER, whose love for decapitation and head shrinking is matched only with her love of baking that perfect pie. ( I love when the jokes write themselves)

A black, wide elastic waist belt nips and defines your midsection (Note: When wearing a dress without a well-defined bodice such a belt aids in creating an extremely figure enhancing babydoll shape)

Forget those ridiculously overpriced cocktail rings. Try pairing wooden Virgin Mary and Memento Mori bracelets as a darkly kitsch and, quite frankly, cheaper alternative. Because every fashionable domestic goddess sure does love a bargain!

Nude Cuban heeled black back seamed pantyhose! Legs just don’t get anymore pinup perfect than that!

The lady of the house can’t be gallivanting about in some of those 7” inch stilettos that nudie dancers wear when she’s running around with a hors d’oeuvres serving tray in one hand, and a scorpion bowl in the other. But a pair of these adorable black patent 3” pumps will do just fine!

Head Huntress Hair

Straight, sleek and voluminous. Not a strand out of place.
Hotter than the fires of Pele lighting a volacano bowl. Cooler than a “Singapore Sling” on a blistering July afternoon. Deadlier than a “Scorpion’s Sting” chased by a “Zombie”.

• Coat hair with a layer of heat-protective spray.
• Grab a flat iron and clamp it down on your hair as close to the roots as possible.
• Pull flat iron through hair slowly and away from the head.
• Part hair at crown and proceed to pull up and away from the face.
• Place Bump-It under part.
• Arrange hair in such a way that it covers the Bump-It and pin it back into place.
• Place two black hair flowers in hair where the Bump-It begins.
• Use smoothing cream to keep the remaining hair, (which is not “Bump”-ed up) fly away free.
• Apply a liberal amount of hairspray to keep hair in place.

Orchids of Hawaii

Bring out your inner “Tease of the Seven Seas” and channel the beauties of Leeteg’s black velvet paintings with an eye and lip palette inspired by the perfect pinks and lush purples of a Polynesian paradise.

Skin

1. Meagan applied a tinted moisturizer all over her face using a cosmetic sponge to enhance her natural skin tone. This is a great alternative to wearing heavy foundations in the sweltering summer months!
2. Using a powder brush, she added a dusting of translucent powder to set the tinted moisturizer in place and nix any potential shininess.

Eyes

1. Dab some brown eyeshadow onto a small angled brush. Tap off the excess. Starting at the widest part of the brow, near the nose, and using short strokes, apply brown eyeshadow directly to the natural hair of the eyebrow. Repeat on the other side. Make sure to use a shade that matches your hair color (in Meagan’s case brown was used since she is a blonde). After you’re satisfied with the shape of your brows, feel free to seal them with a single coat of a makeup sealer.
2. Lightly coat your entire eyelid area with an eyeshadow primer, to build a smooth base for your shadows, pigments and liners.
3. Using a fluffy brush apply purple eyeshadow across your entire eyelid from lashline to crease.
4. Hold down your lower eyelid. Using a small eyeliner brush, dot plum (or any shade of purple that is darker than what you used in Step 3 ) shadow directly underneath the eyelash line of your lower lid, beginning at the outer portion of the eye.
5. With the help of a blending brush, add the same plum shade you added in Step 4 to the crease of your eye.
6. Highlight your browbone with soft shimmery beige eyeshadow applied with a blending brush.
7. For extra pronounced lashes top off with 3 coats of black mascara.

Cheeks

1. Swipe some peach blush onto a medium sized blush brush.
2. Apply the peach blush onto cheekbones and blend into temples.

Lips

1. Meagan applied a cotton candy hued pink lipstick straight from the tube all over her lips and then blended the edges with a lip liner brush.
2. She finished off the look with a coat of sheer pinky gloss she added on top of the lipstick.

Credits

Model and Photography:Meagan Kyla

Location: Buffalo, NY

<3

Vanity Kills